Heaven

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Ancient Citizen, 25 Jul 2014.

  1. Ancient Citizen

    Ancient Citizen

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    What is your view of the paradise in the sky? I think it'd be boring as fuck, I mean you can only drink so much ale and do so many drugs before you fall off your cloud, then what about the following day? Is it a place where your every whim is granted just by thinking about it, or do have to queue for fucking ages behind countless billions of the previously deceased to get a chit off the Big Fella to present at the Angels storeroom?
    Do you have to be nice to everyone in there or can you twat anybody who'se getting on your tits, without fear of repercussions?
    How good do you have to be to get there, is it like the 11 plus, where you may just scrape in by a single correct answer, and if you just failed do you get permanently basted at 250 degrees for eternity down below?
    Deep philosophical replies only, please.
     
  2. TCIB

    TCIB

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    Neither here nor there!
    I like boobies :-D
     
  3. BlueBearBoots

    BlueBearBoots

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    The book "Lovely Bones" had what I thought was a good take on Heaven. Everyone has their own Heaven so you dont come across millions of souls just ones you are meant to meet and you wont necessarily meet up with dead relatives. Souls in Heaven spend a lot of time watching their loved ones who are still alive go about their daily business at first but soon become bored of this.

    But then of course you are only in Heaven for a short while before you are reincarnated, learning to be a better person with each life
     

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  4. blue b4 the moon

    blue b4 the moon

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    If heaven is all Harps, clouds and long white clothing give me the booze, sexy birds and the rock n roll of Hell.
     
  5. BlueBearBoots

    BlueBearBoots

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    if everyones Heaven is different so would be hell. Imagine having to watch the rags wind the league over and over again - that would be most BM's idea of hell i think
     
  6. BimboBob

    BimboBob

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    Listen, Can you smell something?
    You die. That's it. Souls watching loved ones? Piffle. Can hardly think of anything worse. Ooh look, she's cooking an egg. Riveting.
     
  7. metalblue

    metalblue

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    Experience is a terrible teacher, it gives the exa
    It's a lovely thought BBB, and there are some interesting reincarnation articles, but sadly I don't think anything awaits us once we pop out mortal coil.

    I would like a mausoleum thou.
     
  8. TCIB

    TCIB

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    Neither here nor there!
    Lol...

    "my sweet daughter going out...who is that bloke...why are they going down that alleywa...WTF"
     
  9. StrangewaysHereWeCome

    StrangewaysHereWeCome

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    Its not piffle at all. I for one love a certain formerbporn actress and when I go to heaven she'll either be there as my own p.a or, I'll be "watching over" her.

    Win win in either scenario
     
  10. Ancient Citizen

    Ancient Citizen

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    Yeah, I was thinking that, what if you peer down and see some reprobate back scuttling your Mrs over the expensive sofa you worked your tripes out for?
     

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