Fourinarow
Well-Known Member
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows; you give one to your
> neighbour.
> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and
> gives you some milk.
> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both
> and sells you some
> milk.
> BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both,
> shoots one, milks
> the other, and then throws the milk away . . .
> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The
> government requires you to
> take harmonica lessons.
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You
> sell one and buy a
> bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and
> retire on the income.
> AN
> AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one,
> and force the other to
> produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse
> why the cow has dropped dead.
> A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on
> strike, organise a
> riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
> A
> JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign
> them so they are
> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
> milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and
> market it worldwide.
> A
> GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
> re-engineer them so they
> live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
> AN
> ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you
> don't know where they
> are. You decide to have lunch.
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count
> them and learn you
> have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
> count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
> open another bottle of vodka.
> A
> SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of
> them belong to you.
> You charge the owners for storing them.
> CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have
> 300 people milking
> them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
> productivity, and execute the newsman who reported the real situation.
> AN
> INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship
> them.
> IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you
> have lots of cows. You
> tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb you
> and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you
> are part of a Democracy. . . .
> WELSH
> CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the
> left looks very
> attractive.
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business
> seems pretty good. You
> close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate
> A
> BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The
> Government says you have
> to buy a licence to milk them, but first you have to do a risk
> assessment, which only the government Quango is allowed to carry out.
> They charge you 5
> times the cost of doing it. They find that the three legged stool is a
> risk under health and safety legislation. You have to buy the EC
> approved 5 legged stool that is designed to support a milk maid of up
> to 250 kilos. However, the stool exceeds EC weight lifting limits for
> workers by 4 kilos, which just happens to be the weight of the fifth
> leg. To shift the stool from one cow to the other you therefore need a
> special (EC approved) trolley. The new stool and trolley are so
> expensive that you have to mortgage one of the cows to pay for them
> and pay for the mandatory training course you must take to get your
> licence to milk the cows. You sell your milk to the supermarket chain
> that pays you next to nothing for it, and then they sell it.
> neighbour.
> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and
> gives you some milk.
> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both
> and sells you some
> milk.
> BUREAUCRACY: You have 2 cows. The State takes both,
> shoots one, milks
> the other, and then throws the milk away . . .
> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The
> government requires you to
> take harmonica lessons.
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You
> sell one and buy a
> bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and
> retire on the income.
> AN
> AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one,
> and force the other to
> produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse
> why the cow has dropped dead.
> A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on
> strike, organise a
> riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
> A
> JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign
> them so they are
> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
> milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and
> market it worldwide.
> A
> GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You
> re-engineer them so they
> live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
> AN
> ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you
> don't know where they
> are. You decide to have lunch.
> A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count
> them and learn you
> have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
> count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
> open another bottle of vodka.
> A
> SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of
> them belong to you.
> You charge the owners for storing them.
> CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have
> 300 people milking
> them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
> productivity, and execute the newsman who reported the real situation.
> AN
> INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship
> them.
> IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you
> have lots of cows. You
> tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb you
> and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you
> are part of a Democracy. . . .
> WELSH
> CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the
> left looks very
> attractive.
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business
> seems pretty good. You
> close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate
> A
> BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The
> Government says you have
> to buy a licence to milk them, but first you have to do a risk
> assessment, which only the government Quango is allowed to carry out.
> They charge you 5
> times the cost of doing it. They find that the three legged stool is a
> risk under health and safety legislation. You have to buy the EC
> approved 5 legged stool that is designed to support a milk maid of up
> to 250 kilos. However, the stool exceeds EC weight lifting limits for
> workers by 4 kilos, which just happens to be the weight of the fifth
> leg. To shift the stool from one cow to the other you therefore need a
> special (EC approved) trolley. The new stool and trolley are so
> expensive that you have to mortgage one of the cows to pay for them
> and pay for the mandatory training course you must take to get your
> licence to milk the cows. You sell your milk to the supermarket chain
> that pays you next to nothing for it, and then they sell it.