I just hit my girlfriend

[glen quagmire]

[bigimg]http://www.redstaplerchronicles.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/internet%20lynch%20mobs.gif[/bigimg]

 

[notts blue]

did you win a million quid on saturday night???

 

[oneloveonecity]

well he got me. well played sir..well played. ;)

 

[MadchesterCity]

So I hit my girlfriend today. 2 hours ago. Feel like utter crap obviously. Probably be off to the police station soon enough so I'd thought I'd you lot what happened.

We were having an argument and she went too far. She made a comment along the lines of "Your loser father couldn't keep a relationship together and you can't either!". When I was around 11, my parents got divorced and fought for custody.

This was too far for me. I had never, EVER hit a girl before, Never mind my girlfriend!!! but it happened so fast I didn't even know I did it.


Basically, I cracked her a full force one straight into the nose,. I thought it would be like the movies where she would get a little trickle of blood. It wasn't. Her nose exploded!! I think I must of broken some cartilage or something because blood shot out of both her nostrils, got all over me, got all over the floor.

We were both stunned for about 10 seconds before she started crying hysterically and ran into my room and locked the door. So I went to wash my hands, and while I was in the bathroom I heard her run out of the house and take off in her car. That was about 5 hours ago so I guess she didn't gone to the police or anything. So later I went home and broke down in tears.. I feel absolutely awful.

Called my mum over.

Mum came around and when she heard about what had happened, she got very scared and told me she's had enough so she said...

"Your moving with your aunty and uncle in Bel-Air."
I whistled for a cab and when it came near,
the license plate said 'fresh' and had a dice in the mirror,
if anything I can say that this cab was rare but I thought "Yo homes to Bel-Air!"
I pulled up to a house at about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cab "Yo homes, smell ya later", looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my thrown as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

Oh deary me

 

[Tricky Dickys Right Foot Shot]

PMSL!!

I was wating for a PUNCH line but the ending of the story had me in STITCHES!!

 

[Santiago Street]

I have no idea why this is funny, even the "punchline" doesn't seem to tie in with the story.

I need a line by line explanation

 

[southstandblue27]

pmsl

 

[Stuuuuuu]

I have no idea why this is funny, even the "punchline" doesn't seem to tie in with the story.

I need a line by line explanation

There is no link. It's isn't witty or clever or anything. It's quite funny though. The idea is that you start with something really harrowing, then turn it upside down by ending it with theme song lyrics from an American shitcom.

 

[Anonymous]

I have no idea why this is funny, even the "punchline" doesn't seem to tie in with the story.

I need a line by line explanation

There is no link. It's isn't witty or clever or anything. It's quite funny though. The idea is that you start with something really harrowing, then turn it upside down by ending it with theme song lyrics from an American shitcom.

the fresh prince of bel air is quality!

your insulting my childhood here. :(

 

[MikeBlue]

Class!