Is this racism

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give it to gordon

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Not know if it worth bring this up at work.

We went over to the main office last week which has the visitor information centre in there.
We walked in a the vic volunteer was dealing with a customer so we just walked upstairs. Anyway she shout at us and asked if she could help. I said it's OK we work here.
Anyway about 10 minutes later she came up to the office and started having a right go at us. Saying how rude we were etc, for not saying help and who we were. We weren't allowed to speak lol we tried to explain that she was dealing with a member of the public. Anyway my colleague left she was than told that I was his boss. She than said " I bet you just go back and say that silly black woman"
I didn't like the refence that I would mention her colour. Something I would never do.
Today she had another pop at me as I was working in the office, saying she won't apologise to me. I haven't even asked for an apology lol.

I'm having a chat with the lady who runs the vic I'm not happy about her saying I would use her colour in chat.

Am I being abit of a snowflake ?
 
give it to gordon said:
Not know if it worth bring this up at work.

We went over to the main office last week which has the visitor information centre in there.
We walked in a the vic volunteer was dealing with a customer so we just walked upstairs. Anyway she shout at us and asked if she could help. I said it's OK we work here.
Anyway about 10 minutes later she came up to the office and started having a right go at us. Saying how rude we were etc, for not saying help and who we were. We weren't allowed to speak lol we tried to explain that she was dealing with a member of the public. Anyway my colleague left she was than told that I was his boss. She than said " I bet you just go back and say that silly black woman"
I didn't like the refence that I would mention her colour. Something I would never do.
Today she had another pop at me as I was working in the office, saying she won't apologise to me. I haven't even asked for an apology lol.

I'm having a chat with the lady who runs the vic I'm not happy about her saying I would use her colour in chat.

Am I being abit of a snowflake ?
Click to expand...

As a Black guy, I would say she's self victimising, putting a presumption on you for an experience she's had before? Who knows.

If that was me in your shoes, I'd feel aggrieved, especially if it's not part of my character.

But, racism? No.
 
give it to gordon said:
Not know if it worth bring this up at work.

We went over to the main office last week which has the visitor information centre in there.
We walked in a the vic volunteer was dealing with a customer so we just walked upstairs. Anyway she shout at us and asked if she could help. I said it's OK we work here.
Anyway about 10 minutes later she came up to the office and started having a right go at us. Saying how rude we were etc, for not saying help and who we were. We weren't allowed to speak lol we tried to explain that she was dealing with a member of the public. Anyway my colleague left she was than told that I was his boss. She than said " I bet you just go back and say that silly black woman"
I didn't like the refence that I would mention her colour. Something I would never do.
Today she had another pop at me as I was working in the office, saying she won't apologise to me. I haven't even asked for an apology lol.

I'm having a chat with the lady who runs the vic I'm not happy about her saying I would use her colour in chat.

Am I being abit of a snowflake ?
Click to expand...

I'd say no but plenty would disagree, although to be honest I can't see why her colour was referenced.
 
give it to gordon said:
Not know if it worth bring this up at work.

We went over to the main office last week which has the visitor information centre in there.
We walked in a the vic volunteer was dealing with a customer so we just walked upstairs. Anyway she shout at us and asked if she could help. I said it's OK we work here.
Anyway about 10 minutes later she came up to the office and started having a right go at us. Saying how rude we were etc, for not saying help and who we were. We weren't allowed to speak lol we tried to explain that she was dealing with a member of the public. Anyway my colleague left she was than told that I was his boss. She than said " I bet you just go back and say that silly black woman"
I didn't like the refence that I would mention her colour. Something I would never do.
Today she had another pop at me as I was working in the office, saying she won't apologise to me. I haven't even asked for an apology lol.

I'm having a chat with the lady who runs the vic I'm not happy about her saying I would use her colour in chat.

Am I being abit of a snowflake ?
Click to expand...
Sounds like she's been given a very small amount of power to keep an eye on who is coming and going and it has gone to her head. The colour think is just weird and unnecessary unless there was a remark or context to provoke it (imho).
 
mexico1970 said:
I'd say no but plenty would disagree, although to be honest I can't see why her colour was referenced.
Click to expand...
Without knowing the full dynamics of the situation, it sounds like the woman was just having a bad day at the office. She may be having personal issues that are causing her grief, or perhaps someone else at work has p*ssed her off? Maybe someone else asked her to apologise?

Either way it sounds like you've done nothing wrong, and she's just overreacted for whatever reason. Maybe buy her a coffee and lend her your ear for 5 minutes? It's amazing how things can be nipped in the bud before they escalate.
 
Trevor Morley's Tache said:
Without knowing the full dynamics of the situation, it sounds like the woman was just having a bad day at the office. She may be having personal issues that are causing her grief, or perhaps someone else at work has p*ssed her off? Maybe someone else asked her to apologise?

Either way it sounds like you've done nothing wrong, and she's just overreacted for whatever reason. Maybe buy her a coffee and lend her your ear for 5 minutes? It's amazing how things can be nipped in the bud before they escalate.
Click to expand...

Wouldnt say she was having a bad day as she had another go two weeks after the first time.
I was doing some work on my laptop when she came in to apologise to the ladies in the office.
When she saw me she said 'I'm not apologise to you I meant it '
All this because we didn't say hello when walking in lol she is bloody bonkers.

I haven't said a bad word towards her.

I tried to explain why we didn't say hello but she just talks you down loudly
 
give it to gordon said:
Wouldnt say she was having a bad day as she had another go two weeks after the first time.
I was doing some work on my laptop when she came in to apologise to the ladies in the office.
When she saw me she said 'I'm not apologise to you I meant it '
All this because we didn't say hello when walking in lol she is bloody bonkers.

I haven't said a bad word towards her.

I tried to explain why we didn't say hello but she just talks you down loudly
Click to expand...
Lol, sounds like she likes you!
 
give it to gordon said:
Wouldnt say she was having a bad day as she had another go two weeks after the first time.
I was doing some work on my laptop when she came in to apologise to the ladies in the office.
When she saw me she said 'I'm not apologise to you I meant it '
All this because we didn't say hello when walking in lol she is bloody bonkers.

I haven't said a bad word towards her.

I tried to explain why we didn't say hello but she just talks you down loudly
Click to expand...
Sounds like perhaps she has the wrong impression of you?

Not sure how you can fix that. I guess just be pleasant and don't give her any reason to have a go at you.
 
I have a friend who is very sensitive to accusations of being an angry black woman. Apparently it's a thing that people do dismiss black ladies - a white woman will act in the same way but it's the black lady will be perceived to be more aggressive. We had a bit of a disagreement this week and I accused her of being aggressively polite and she accused me of utilizing the trope which proper aggravated me. I was aggressively impolite so as an old white guy I guess I was exposing my own toxic masculinity.

When we are sensitive about appearing a certain way some people put it out in the world in the hope that others will disagree and we will be reassured.
 
Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. You didn't reference colour. She did. Sounds like she is playing the victim, which she isn't. I speak as a person of mixed race for what it's worth.
 
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