Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Dwarves are generally law-abiding people. Most of them are gnome to the authorities.
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Dwarves are generally law-abiding people. Most of them are gnome to the authorities.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My mate went to the doctor and said he had a problem with his right ear
The doctor had a look and couldn't see anything, so he said "are you sure?"
My mare said "yes, I'm definite"
The doctor had a look and couldn't see anything, so he said "are you sure?"
My mare said "yes, I'm definite"
Kippaxpete
Well-Known Member
I recall a former girlfriend's brother doing exactly this as a teenager. Having failed to free himself, he was obliged to tell his parents whereupon his dad drove him to A&E with a blanket over his lap. Following triage, a doctor eventually appeared carrying a pair of pliers and instructed him to grit his teeth while he yanked the zip down. Enough to bring a tear to a glass eye!
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
It's probably too early for hurricane jokes
I'll wait for everything to blow over.
I'll wait for everything to blow over.
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
I cringed just reading thatI recall a former girlfriend's brother doing exactly this as a teenager. Having failed to free himself, he was obliged to tell his parents whereupon his dad drove him to A&E with a blanket over his lap. Following triage, a doctor eventually appeared carrying a pair of pliers and instructed him to grit his teeth while he yanked the zip down. Enough to bring a tear to a glass eye!
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I went to a boarding school for five years.
I didn't pass any 'O' levels etc, but there aren't many people who can get on a plane as well as I can.
I didn't pass any 'O' levels etc, but there aren't many people who can get on a plane as well as I can.
dickie davies
Well-Known Member
Your friend is a horse?My mate went to the doctor and said he had a problem with his right ear
The doctor had a look and couldn't see anything, so he said "are you sure?"
My mare said "yes, I'm definite"
Grassland Blue
Well-Known Member
My wife asked me what I loved more, her or football?
I said, "Open your legs and I'll show you"!
Then I nutmegged her.....
I said, "Open your legs and I'll show you"!
Then I nutmegged her.....
Grassland Blue
Well-Known Member
A man goes into the butchers and says, "I'd like a kilo of those piss holes in your window please".
The butcher says, "I don't know what you're talking, we don't sell those".
The man says, "Yes you do and I want to buy some".
The butcher says adamantly, "We don't sell those sir".
The man says, "I know what I saw, come outside and I will point them out".
"Ok", says the butcher, (thinking "I'll humour the bloke"), "come on outaide and show me".
They both walk outside and look in the window.
The man points to the sign and triumphantly says, "There you are, piss holes"!
The butcher says to him in exasperation, "Sir, that's not a P, that's an R"!
The man says, "Well give me some of your R soles then"!
The butcher says, "I don't know what you're talking, we don't sell those".
The man says, "Yes you do and I want to buy some".
The butcher says adamantly, "We don't sell those sir".
The man says, "I know what I saw, come outside and I will point them out".
"Ok", says the butcher, (thinking "I'll humour the bloke"), "come on outaide and show me".
They both walk outside and look in the window.
The man points to the sign and triumphantly says, "There you are, piss holes"!
The butcher says to him in exasperation, "Sir, that's not a P, that's an R"!
The man says, "Well give me some of your R soles then"!
Good joke - shame about the apostrophes