Joke thread

[JRockBlues]

When uwe fuchs got sent off at milwall the back page of the the Sunday sport simply said "fuchs off"

When Julian Dicks was having a particularly good game for West Ham there was this inspired piece on commentary:

It’s like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.

Must've been prophecy as that's what they usually have this season.

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Bill Walker]

Paddy is walking behind his wife and says, "aye you are so fat now your arse looks like a fekin washing machine." The wife keeps quiet and keeps walking.
Bed time, and paddy is asking for sex.The wife says, "I can't start the washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to handwash!"....

 

[moggymoz]

 

[Keep the Faith]

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[Keep the Faith]

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[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Keep the Faith]

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[Aguerooooooo93:20]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[blue44]

 

[balotellishaircut]

A City fan, a rag and a Huddersfield fan are having a sleepover but there’s only two beds, so the City fan says “you’re my guests so I’ll sleep in the shed. Ten minutes later he’s back “there’s spiders in there and I hate spiders”
So the Huddersfield fan says “I’ll go” Ten minutes later he’s back “there’s a rat in there and I hate them” So the rag says “I’ll go” Ten minutes later there’s a knock at the door, the City fan opens the door and standing there is the spider and rat.

 

[balotellishaircut]

Careful what you buy online - a bloke I know bought a penis enlarger - they sent him a magnifying glass.

 

[Aguerooooooo93:20]

 

[forlorn hope]

Never ever challenge Death to a pillow fight............. not unless you want to deal with the Reaper cushions............

 

[KS55]

My penis was in the Guinness Book of Records. But the librarian made me take it out.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I got invited to Tony the Tigers wedding… It was a bit of a frostie reception!