Joke thread

[aguero93:20]

Brilliant....

Slightly disturbing the child has to tell his mother she's only allowed to hit one of them.

 

[A57 the snake]

Just seen Suggs and Chrissy boy busking outside Tesco … Fooking madness.

 

[bluemanchester]

If everybody is as bored as me this last week, excluding rugby, could they post some jokes in the joke thread please as there have only been about 30 posted since Thursday and I need a laugh. The match day thread usually gives a good laugh especially after I've been at the game but with no match day thread and few jokes posted its boring.

 

[Bantamgaz]

Manchester United ????

 

[Mr Fraser]

Slightly disturbing the child has to tell his mother she's only allowed to hit one of them.

I know if it was that baby in the video it's an easy choice

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Manchester United ????

Pmsl

 

[A57 the snake]

If everybody is as bored as me this last week, excluding rugby, could they post some jokes in the joke thread please as there have only been about 30 posted since Thursday and I need a laugh. The match day thread usually gives a good laugh especially after I've been at the game but with no match day thread and few jokes posted its boring.

Seems you like egg chasing and a joke , you could crack on and post one ! ;)

 

[yeseye]

 

[messedupface]

If everybody is as bored as me this last week, excluding rugby, could they post some jokes in the joke thread please as there have only been about 30 posted since Thursday and I need a laugh. The match day thread usually gives a good laugh especially after I've been at the game but with no match day thread and few jokes posted its boring.

I honestly don't get it

 

[Blue Mist]

I honestly don't get it

OK let me explain. He's bored yes? And other than rugby there is nothing to make him laugh, still with me? So he's asking.... on hang on a minute, he missed the punchline off.

He was meant to put 'it's ok I've got my bike outside'

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

My wife accused me of achieving nothing so I told her, 'Well I won the Leslie Nielson award at school.

''What's that?', she said.

'It's a big building with kids in it.'

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

My wife was born female, she identifies as female, but according to Sainsbury's Deluxe Sticky Toffee Pudding, she's a family of four.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Wayne Rooney has revealed he's delighted to have smashed dry January.

January, 87, is recovering after undergoing emergency vaginal surgery.

 

[havefaith]

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Karl Marx is a historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister Onya who invented the starting pistol.

 

[dickie davies]

Not this one again!

 

[Indaparkside]

2 lepers playing cards one lost so he threw his hand him

Why did the leper fail his driving test he left his foot on the accelerator

Guy walks into a bar ouch it was a steel one

 

[Uwe Already]

I really hate having insomnia, still, on the plus side... Only three more sleeps until christmas!

 

[ray21]

Sure we have one or two bluemooners from these States.

 

[Bill Walker]

I bet on a horse today at twenty to one..

It came in at twenty past four.