Joke thread

[The perfect fumble]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

Oh wonderous fantasmica of the brain-lobes.

 

[Two Gun Bob]

You know why so many American kids die in high school massacres? It’s because they aren’t allowed to run in the corridors.

 

[Two Gun Bob]

I once had a relationship with a blind woman. It was very rewarding but also quite challenging.
It took me *ages* to get her husband's voice right.

 

[crazyg]

Absolutely brilliant!
I'e now got my 4 year old granddaughter watching them when she comes to my house.
(There wasn't much else to watch when I was that age). She's not too keen on Andy Pandy or Rag, Tag and Bobtail, though. The Woodentops - meh.

 

[Cellarite]

I once had a relationship with a blind woman. It was very rewarding but also quite challenging.
It took me *ages* to get her husband's voice right.

You have to hand it to her.

 

[doots]

You know why so many American kids die in high school massacres? It’s because they aren’t allowed to run in the corridors.

Did you nick that from Jimmy Carr

 

[knuckles]

Might have to don my tin hat for this one, but here goes (it is just a joke!)#

 

[knuckles]

Tried to get an appointment with my Doctor for ages. Saw him the other day and showed him a rash on my penis, he completely ignored me and continued his shopping. Git!!!

 

[knuckles]

Old one I know, made me smile though!

 

[Two Gun Bob]

Did you nick that from Jimmy Carr

I was holding up a mirror to the audience : /

 

[nw42]

I'm at Heathrow, a guy has just collapsed onto the luggage carousel, he's coming round slowly.

 

[knuckles]

I'm at Heathrow, a guy has just collapsed onto the luggage carousel, he's coming round slowly.

Sounds like the poor chap has a lot of baggage in his life !!!

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Absolutely brilliant!
I'e now got my 4 year old granddaughter watching them when she comes to my house.
(There wasn't much else to watch when I was that age). She's not too keen on Andy Pandy or Rag, Tag and Bobtail, though. The Woodentops - meh.

She'll be too young for Muffin the Mule then.

 

[nw42]

 

[crazyg]

She'll be too young for Muffin the Mule then.

You can still get locked up for that!

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

What do you call a big black cock destroying a pussy?

Kurt Zouma.

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

One of the late Jethro jokes -
"I was barred entry into my local club, I said to the doorman I'm a country member".
"Yes he said, I do remeber".

 

[nw42]