Joke thread

1.618034 said:
If you're gonna nick a joke from The Fringe then at least tell it properly.


I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are “there, there”. Sarah Keyworth
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I improved it. The written version is wrong. I used possessive pronouns which is surely correct. Na na-na na na.
 
KS55 said:
I improved it. The written version is wrong. I used possessive pronouns which is surely correct. Na na-na na na.
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No, the possessive pronoun is wrong as the original joke clearly refers to the use of "there there" by a second person in an emotionally supportive manner. You therefore ruined an already fucking awful joke, well done :)
 
flook said:
No, the possessive pronoun is wrong as the original joke clearly refers to the use of "there there" by a second person in an emotionally supportive manner. You therefore ruined an already fucking awful joke, well done :)
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As they are homonyms and the joke is verbal does it matter?
 
Cityfan said:
As they are homonyms and the joke is verbal does it matter?
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if they were homonyms of the same spelling I would tend to agree, but as the spelling differentiates the meaning, then I would not. This applies obviously only as the joke is no longer verbal.
 
flook said:
No, the possessive pronoun is wrong as the original joke clearly refers to the use of "there there" by a second person in an emotionally supportive manner. You therefore ruined an already fucking awful joke, well done :)
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. The joke was delvered verbally. So you dont know how it was written down by the author. My version would still sound exactly as you wish it to be but would correctly use possessives in the written form. Tee hee.
 
Before anyone else tries to "improve" any of the Fringe winning jokes...


1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. Mark Simmons

2. I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back. Alec Snook

3. Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right, but the mane was dreadful. Alex Kitson

4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. Arthur Smith

5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it. Mark Simmons

6. My dad used to say to me: “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes. Olaf Falafel

7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? Chelsea Birkby

8. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had. Zoë Coombs Marr

9. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are “there, there”. Sarah Keyworth

10. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher. Sophie Duker
 
1.618034 said:
Before anyone else tries to "improve" any of the Fringe winning jokes...


1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. Mark Simmons

2. I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back. Alec Snook

3. Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right, but the mane was dreadful. Alex Kitson

4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. Arthur Smith

5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it. Mark Simmons

6. My dad used to say to me: “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes. Olaf Falafel

7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? Chelsea Birkby

8. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had. Zoë Coombs Marr

9. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are “there, there”. Sarah Keyworth

10. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher. Sophie Duker
Click to expand...
I've decided to sell my hoover, well it was only collecting dust. Tim Vine
 
1.618034 said:
Before anyone else tries to "improve" any of the Fringe winning jokes...


1. I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. Mark Simmons

2. I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward, two steps back. Alec Snook

3. Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right, but the mane was dreadful. Alex Kitson

4. I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it. Arthur Smith

5. I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton. Well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it. Mark Simmons

6. My dad used to say to me: “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I think, speaks volumes. Olaf Falafel

7. British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons? Chelsea Birkby

8. My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had. Zoë Coombs Marr

9. I’m an extremely emotionally needy non-binary person. My pronouns are “there, there”. Sarah Keyworth

10. Keir Starmer looks like an AI-generated image of a substitute teacher. Sophie Duker
Click to expand...
Fucking amateurs. I laughed more when I had my kidney removed.
 
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