Joke thread

[Barcon]

What do you get if you cross Christmas cracker jokes and Tim Vine’s pace of comedy?

Lavinda Past. ;-)

Who is Tim Vine?

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Who is Tim Vine?

Jeremy’s brother.

 

[ChicagoBlue]

Jeremy’s brother.

So, different branch of the family tree, then.

 

[ChicagoBlue]

View attachment 138252

Pedant Alert!!!

It was only 16 for Jake Paul!

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

So, different branch of the family tree, then.

Not U2, that’s Joshua…

 

[ChicagoBlue]

Not U2, that’s Joshua…

Ooh, Edge-y, but tres Bono!

 

[ChicagoBlue]

You’ve forgotten the punchline which is a fairly important part of a joke

The correct answer is ‘society’

How can you tell someone is a vegan within 1 minute of meeting them?

They tell you!

 

[oakiecokie]

What do you get if you cross Christmas cracker jokes and Tim Vine’s pace of comedy?

Lavinda Past. ;-)

I`ve seen Tim Vine live and believe me he`s far far ahead of Lavinda.

 

[balotellishaircut]

Teacher tells class “ make a sentence using the word dough “ Little Lucy raises her hand “in Italy they make pizza using special dough”

Very good say teacher, Little Sarah raises her hand “My brother makes dinosaurs out of play dough”

Excellent says teacher, Billy raises his hand “Our Mum says dad is a crap shag so she has to use a dill dough”.

 

[balotellishaircut]

Caught the wife masturbating to a Rowan Atkinson film earlier.

She loves a good Bean flick.