Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

I read an article about strange perversions. One was shoving a croissant up your bum

Apparently, it's a real pain in the arse.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Which vegetable breaks free from jail the most?

An escapea.

 

[Xhavenjoe]

Little known fact....

In order to kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through its heart.

As you'd expect, the process is painstaking.

read an article about strange perversions. One was shoving a croissant up your bum

Apparently, it's a real pain in the arse

Now Now.
You can only get away with that once

 

[balotellishaircut]

My wife can do a far better West Midlands accent than me.
This goes to show that the female of the species is more Dudley than the male.

 

[TinFoilHat]

 

[fulabeer]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Just pulled back my curtains and thought I saw David Jason lying on my lawn...

After a close inspection it was a touch of frost!.

 

[bladdered]

 

[bluethrunthru]

 

[Sam101]

A farmer has a chicken shed with three rows above each other.



There are 20 chickens on the top row, 20 in the middle and 20 on the bottom.



Question - how many chickens does he actually own?



Answer - 20 40 are on higher perches!