Joke thread

[balotellishaircut]

Just got a job organising a nativity play in Liverpool.

God knows where I’ll find 3 wise men and a virgin.

 

[Lavinda Past]

This has got to be a new low...

Thanks. All feedback much appreciated...

(So the chickens tell me)

 

[sir baconface]

There is a rich man from the middle east who plans to buy all the fish and chip shops in the UK.

His name is Sultan Vinegar

Actually you are wrong.

He’s Sheikh Al Yoor Non-Brewed Condiment.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I've just been to a veganism exhibition in London.

It's well worth a butcher's

 

[Lavinda Past]

It's with a heavy heart that I have to inform you that after 25 years as chairman of the Ladder Appreciation Society.

I'm finally stepping down

 

[Vienna_70]

My wife can do a far better West Midlands accent than me.
This goes to show that the female of the species is more Dudley than the male.

That’s fucking terrible!

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Just had a letter back from Screwfix

Apparently, they’re not a dating site

 

[Lavinda Past]

That’s fucking terrible!

Oi think it's bostin'

 

[Lavinda Past]

My friend claims he "accidentally" glued himself to his autobiography. I don't believe him...

But that's his story and he's sticking to it