joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. remember arthur mann

    remember arthur mann

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    Kinnel ! Mark Goldbridge.
     
  2. taleofbluehalves

    taleofbluehalves

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    I’m writing a song about getting my door lock replaced. There’s a key change at the end.
     
  3. Chippy_boy

    Chippy_boy

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    Doesn't do it for me, I'm afraid. I prefer the duck one:

    A duck walks into a bike shop and asks the owner "Have you got any beer?"

    "Sorry," says the owner, "it's a bike shop, we've only sell bicycles"

    "OK," says the duck and leaves.

    Five minutes later the duck walks back in and asks the owner "Have you got any beer?"

    "Er..., no" says the owner, "as I said, it's a bike shop and we only sell bicycles"

    "Right-o" says the duck and leaves.

    After another five minutes the duck walks back in and asks the owner "Have you got any beer?"

    "Look" snarls the owner, "This is a bike shop. We only sell bicycles. Ask one more time and I'll nail your fucking beak to the counter!"

    "I was only asking" says the duck and leaves.

    Another five minutes pass and the duck walks back in and asks the owner "Have you got any nails?"

    "No," replies the owner.

    "Right then, have you got any beer?"
     
  4. malg

    malg

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    111 this time around
    Hahaha.....that's quite good as well.
     
  5. DrBlueBob

    DrBlueBob

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    Edinburgh
    I bought a dog off a blacksmith. Got it home and it made a bolt for the door.
     
  6. nedums noodles

    nedums noodles

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    manchester CITY centre
    Police knocked on the door the other day “your dogs been chasing a man on his bike” and I replied “it can’t be my dog he doesn’t ride a bike”
     
  7. sir baconface

    sir baconface

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    Not in my lifetime.
    I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a chicken.

    Met a girl dressed as an egg.

    A question as old as time was answered...

    The chicken.
     
  8. BackofJeanette

    BackofJeanette

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    2 girls chatting in the office,

    1st girl says " does your twat tingle after an orgasm?"

    2nd girl replied " no he just farts, rolls over and falls asleep!".
     
  9. Mozzer

    Mozzer

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    What colour would you call this?"

    "Fawn"

    "What colour would you call this, o wise and beautiful identifier of colours?"
     
  10. MelbourneBlue

    MelbourneBlue

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    Location:
    melbourne of course
    I laughed
     

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