joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. purplenose

    purplenose

    Joined:
    25 Oct 2015
    Messages:
    2,119
    Location:
    The Deep South of Cheshire
    All the rags that thought they were going to win the League.
     
  2. sir baconface

    sir baconface

    Joined:
    20 May 2012
    Messages:
    11,005
    Location:
    Not in my lifetime.
    Back and forth. . . in and out. . . in and out . . . a little to the right. . a little to the left . . . she could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . between her breasts. . and, trickling down the small of her back. . . she was getting near to the end.

    He was in ecstasy. . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved. . . forwards then backwards. . forward then backward. again. . . and again. . . her heart was pounding now. . . her face was flushed . . . she moaned softly at first, then began to groan louder . . finally . . . totally exhausted . she let out a piercing scream . . . .

    "OK, OK, you smug bastard, I can't parallel park. You do it!"
     
  3. it may be smarter to say the egg?!
     
  4. dickie davies

    dickie davies

    Joined:
    25 Sep 2010
    Messages:
    4,522
    Location:
    oh please do fuck off
    A man in a hot air balloon is lost somewhere over Ireland
    He looks down and sees a farmer working in his field, so he shouts "where am I?"
    The farmer looked up and shouted back "you can't fool me. You're in that basket"
     
  5. christen at St Marks

    christen at St Marks

    Joined:
    3 Jan 2009
    Messages:
    1,984

    Didn't know where to put it but PMSL
     
  6. TheBlueDune

    TheBlueDune

    Joined:
    16 Jan 2011
    Messages:
    1,353
    Location:
    Cloud 9
    I witnessed an Apple store get robbed last week.
    Police want to talk to me as an iWitness.
     
  7. jimharri

    jimharri

    Joined:
    30 Dec 2007
    Messages:
    80,466
    Location:
    Surrounded by the dark side of the force
    The devil and a lawyer were drinking at a bar.

    The bartender came over, and said; "You evil fucker, I thought I told you we don't want your kind in here."

    The devil said; "Now listen, I have my rights, and ..."

    The bartender replied; "No, not you. Him."
     
  8. aguero93:20

    aguero93:20

    Joined:
    21 Oct 2013
    Messages:
    51,509
    Location:
    The Guardiola Circle Jerk
    Fixed.
     
  9. BlueHammer85

    BlueHammer85

    Joined:
    13 Oct 2010
    Messages:
    14,636
    Tottenham
     
  10. aguero93:20

    aguero93:20

    Joined:
    21 Oct 2013
    Messages:
    51,509
    Location:
    The Guardiola Circle Jerk
    Came in to post that and got distracted by Jim's joke :/
     

Share This Page