joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. kevin horlocks wand

    kevin horlocks wand

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    Is it true that if you sneeze and fart at the same time you do a back flip?
     
  2. dickie davies

    dickie davies

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    oh please do fuck off
    Mixing your manufacturers there, Cadbury, Nestle and Mars
     
  3. Blue Mist

    Blue Mist

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    Now that IS funny.
     
  4. KS55

    KS55

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    No........ a forward, er, barm.
     
  5. TheRemainsOfTheDave

    TheRemainsOfTheDave

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    Always has been. ;)
     
  6. dickie davies

    dickie davies

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    oh please do fuck off
    joke thread....


    Yup. Only been posted at least three times previously
    See that link at the top of this post
     
    BackofJeanette likes this.
  7. goalmole

    goalmole

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    The faster the headwind the higher the eagle soars
    Some things you can never get enough of.
     
  8. citykev28

    citykev28

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    I reckon his post was funnier than yours.
     
  9. PR7

    PR7

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    Location:
    Glasgow
    Team supported:
    Celtic
    My best rugby moment:

    The other day I was in an empty pub having a quiet beer by myself.

    The door opened and in walked the most stunning woman I've ever laid eyes on. 5'11'' tall, stunning blue eyes, silky blonde hair, an hourglass figure.

    Barely covered by a tiny mini skirt and a flimsy cotton top. I could see she was not wearing a bra and her incredibly firm breasts were on show.

    After watching her walk in I turned back to my beer. No sooner had I taken a sip when I turn to see her pulling another bar stool up close to me and sat down. She said 'Hi', and I said 'Hi' in return. She asked how I was and took my hand and placed it on her perfect inner thigh, rubbing it up and down.

    'So, does that make you feel good ?' she asked. ..
    'I'll bet you feel good,' she continued. 'In fact, I'll bet you've never felt this good before.'

    'Well, I have,' I corrected her. 'You see, when I was 17, I was picked to play for the school 1st. XV in the National School Finals in front of a crowd of about 3000 and I felt really good.'

    I immediately felt a bit pathetic saying that and I thought she would get up and go. But she took my hand off her thigh and put it up the front of her top. Her nipple pushed into my palm as she massaged my hand into her pert, perfect breast.

    'How do you feel now,' she purred.
    'OK' I replied.
    Again, she said, 'I'll bet you do. In fact, I'll bet you've never felt THIS good before!'

    Unbelievably I heard myself saying 'Well, actually I have. In that game, we were down by six points with about 20 seconds left in the match.
    The Opposition kicked the ball deep into our half of the field, where I caught it. I ran up field, side-stepping past the first few defenders, handed off a couple of would-be tacklers, burst through a few forwards, chipped over their fullback, regathered and scored a try right under the posts with about 2 or 3 seconds 'til full time. We were still behind by one point, but I had a simple kick at goal to win the match.”

    "Ahhh...." she growled between clenched teeth, more than a bit miffed, pulled my hand from under her top and thrust it down the front of her skirt.
    My fingers immediately met what felt like a wisp of soft cotton , and she was wet !

    She whispered, 'Well tell me this, Mr. Rugby Man: Have you ever felt such a perfect c*nt?'

    'I certainly have,' I answered,

    'I missed the kick.'
     
  10. city saint

    city saint

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    I gave my missus a good rodgering with a huge cucumber last night.this morning I woke to hear her moaning in ectasy,whats up with you I asked she replied the cucumbers repeating on me
     

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