joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. mat

    mat

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    I've just bought a new mouse mat.

    That should stop the little fuckers leaving footprints all over the kitchen!
     
  2. Mad Eyed Screamer

    Mad Eyed Screamer

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    All the good jokes stem from Edinburgh...
     
  3. kippax4ever

    kippax4ever

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    The YouTube video funny as fk..
     
  4. BackofJeanette

    BackofJeanette

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    Bloke goes in a bookstore and says to the girl serving, " have you got the latest book about impotence?"

    She replied " I'm sorry, it's not in at the moment!"

    " Yes that's the one!" He said.

    I know it's been posted before but the old ones are the best!
     
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  5. RadcliffeRick

    RadcliffeRick

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    Bloke goes to the library and says to the girl working there " can I take out a book on kleptomania?" Girl says " No, you won't bring it back".
     
  6. jimharri

    jimharri

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    You are Wazza, and I claim my prize.
     
  7. Paulpowersleftfoot

    Paulpowersleftfoot

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    My mate with a stutter was telling us about his nan.
    By the end of the story we were all singing “Hey Jude”.
     
  8. Kippaxian

    Kippaxian

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    Has your mate ever ordered a taxi to Chester and ended up in Chichester?
     
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  9. Paulpowersleftfoot

    Paulpowersleftfoot

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    No
     
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  10. ChicagoBlue

    ChicagoBlue

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    Wouldn’t “Sorry, it’s already out” have been less of a slap across the head and funnier?

    Or just combine the impotence and kleptomania jokes....

    “Excuse me, could I check out a book on impotence and one on kleptomania?

    Sorry, they’re not in at the moment!”

    Two old men sitting in deck chairs at the beach. One says, “Nice out, isn’t it?” Other replies, “Yeah, I think I’m going to leave mine out.”
     
    Last edited: 21 Aug 2019

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