joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. mikemcfc

    mikemcfc

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    yes, do a good job, but not asbestos you could, or you won't be able to breathe.
     
    Last edited: 15 Mar 2020
  2. Cotswold Knight

    Cotswold Knight

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    These fish jokes are getting well trout of order
     
  3. kippax4ever

    kippax4ever

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    Don't bite mate & don't take the bait.
     

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  4. EastStandLower

    EastStandLower

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    There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the riverbank looking like an idiot.
     
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  5. Blue Mist

    Blue Mist

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    you dont have to live next door to me
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    just give me equality
    Snorky doesn't like this post
     
  6. ali benarbia's studs

    ali benarbia's studs

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    nice one Centurion!
    What s the worst thing you can hear when you are sucking Willie Nelson`s cock????




























    ** I m REALLY not William Nelsen ! ***
     
  7. happy daze

    happy daze

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    Miss is addressing her class " Can anyone tell me about what's in the news?"
    Johnny sticks his hand up Miss,Miss,Miss Oh god no she thinks he'll say something awful again.

    She ignores him and asks Freddy "Miss there's something called coronavirus and it's contagious my mum says",very good Freddy.

    Miss,Miss,Miss (Johnny again) she relents "Miss my mum said something like that,she said if Grandad get the virus he'll run her ragged up and down stairs and it'll take the old contagious to croak."

    Miss bursts in to tears.
     
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  8. Barcon

    Barcon

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. oakiecokie

    oakiecokie

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    The following is one of the saddest thing I have ever read and I have taken the liberty of copying it.
    Count your blessing.

    Goes like this.


    A few day ago I heard that an old buddy of mine had passed away and his kin wanted me to play the bagpipes at his funeral. I was given the name of the church and location.

    The day before the funeral I started the long drive through the Canada.

    On the second day the sat nav gave up and I was lost. Eventually after a long time the sat nav kicked in again. Sadly it left me with little time to catch up with funeral.
    Eventually I saw the sign for the town and locating the Church I was disappointed to see I had missed the service but beside the church two guys had started to fill the grave.

    I asked them to stop and went back to the car.
    I got the pipes out and stood by the grave.

    I played Oh Canada in respected of his adopted home

    I played that old Scottish folk song ‘ I know where I’m going ‘.
    I noticed one of the guys was getting emotional.
    Next as a fellow Scot I played ‘ Flower Of Scotland’
    For the final piece I held back tears and played ‘ Amazing Grace’.
    I packed the pipes away and notice one of the guys in tears.

    As I put the pipes in the car I heard the following from the two guys.

    1st Guy ‘ In all my life I have seen anything anything so emotional’. He was very tearful.

    2nd Guy ‘ Awesome neither have I and I’ve been putting septic tanks in for 35 years.
     
  10. Ancient Citizen

    Ancient Citizen

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    [​IMG]
     

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