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Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.
Two nuns mugging a penguin. More of a visual tbh.
A flasher in the park bares his knob to two elderly nuns. One has a stroke, the other couldn't reach.
Just seen a bloke on a tractor, driving along shouting 'It's the end of the world!!'
I think its Farmer Geddon ...
Went to this club it was quite dark and a lot of people were dancing plucked up the courage to ask this girl to dance, I’m sorry she said I can’t it was only then I noticed she was in a wheelchair I thought she was just sat down. Never mind I said do you fancy a walk I’ll push you and we’ll see if we’ve got out in common, yes she said we’ll go in the park. After walking for an hour or so she said I hope you don’t think I’m to upfront but would you like to fuck me, taken a back a bit I said yes but how “pick me up and put my arms over them rails and I’ll wrap my legs around you” well I did this and fucked the arse of her!! Having finished I took her home where her mum was waiting come in and have a drink I want to thank you for getting her home safely. Feeling a bit guilty I said no it was my pleasure she’s such a sweet girl well at least take this £10 for a taxi,again I refused please she said your such a gentleman most people just leave her on the fence.
With the right punctuation that had a distinct possibility of being funny
You re write it for me clever fucker
I'd just tell a Knock knock joke and have done with it.
The Pope is meeting with his cardinals.
"Your Holiness", said the High Cardinal, "you have a letter from Benjamin Netanyahu challenging you to a round of golf, in a spirit of peace and friendship".
"Hmmm, that is a very constructive gesture", said the Pope, "but I've never held a golf club in my life. Do we have a Cardinal that could represent me?"
"Well," said the High Cardinal, "some of us play occasionally, but none have a handicap...".
Then another Cardinal replied "There's an American Professional, Jack Nicklaus; he's a devout Catholic and maybe we could ordain him?"
And so, Nicklaus was approached, and agreed to be made a Cardinal and represent the Pope.
The day after the round was played, Nicklaus is in conference with the Pope.
"How did it go, my son?" asked the Pope.
"Your Holiness, there is good news and bad news"
"Let's hear the good news first"
"Well, I have to say I played a terrific round. My drives were long and true, my putting was awesome. I was truly inspired from above, and I birdied or eagled every hole. In fact, I think it was the best round I have ever played".
"That is truly good news, my son. What is the bad news?"
"I lost by three strokes to Rabbi Tiger Woods".
Does anyone need an Ark? I Noah guy.
A remote possibility, if that.....