joke thread....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by citymantop, 28 Jan 2014.

  1. Sam Armstrong

    Sam Armstrong

    Joined:
    4 Jun 2009
    Messages:
    1,761
    Location:
    Winwick, Cheshire
    The final scores from the latest round of matches in the Three Musketeers Football League are just in .....

    4 - 1
    4 - 1
    4 - 1
    4 - 1
    and
    4 - 4
     
    AliBobbyJ likes this.
  2. Indaparkside

    Indaparkside

    Joined:
    28 Dec 2015
    Messages:
    8,838
    My wife’s just divorced me cos I’m a compulsive gambler

    All I can think about is how to win her back
     
  3. ray21

    ray21

    Joined:
    18 Sep 2005
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    1,588
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Just came out of Tesco and somebody threw a jar of Mayonnaise at me. I though what the Hell man.
     
    Wanderingwolf likes this.

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  4. I've just got myself one of those anti-bullying wrist bands... I nicked it off a fat ginger kid with glasses!
     
  5. sir baconface

    sir baconface

    Joined:
    20 May 2012
    Messages:
    16,143
    Location:
    Not in my lifetime.
    Not a great response when hit by Tesco Finest.
     
    ray21 likes this.
  6. lefty goldblatt

    lefty goldblatt

    Joined:
    1 Jul 2012
    Messages:
    2,480
    Enya's rugby team have put an official complaint to the Rugby Football Union, saying their opening 3 matches put them at a big disadvantage. They are

    Sale (a)
    Sale (a)
    Sale (a)
     
  7. bluemoon32

    bluemoon32

    Joined:
    2 Jan 2009
    Messages:
    11,231
    Location:
    Still in fcuking work
    I really, really hate those bleach blocks that people put in toilets.

    Sorry - I just had to get that out of my cistern.
     
    manchester blue likes this.
  8. sir baconface

    sir baconface

    Joined:
    20 May 2012
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    16,143
    Location:
    Not in my lifetime.
    With shite like that, you should change your monicker to Bloomoon32.
     
    bluemoon32 likes this.
  9. Big Swifty

    Big Swifty

    Joined:
    8 Nov 2011
    Messages:
    2,779
    "I don't want my kid brother coming out of there with just his dick in his hand"
     
  10. francisbaud

    francisbaud

    Joined:
    9 May 2020
    Messages:
    3
    A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

    "Don't worry" said the Doc. "Those are just contractions."
     

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