Joke thread

3 football supporters, A Chav, a City fan and a rag, out on a European night in Paris during the French Revolution and get caught up by the rabble. All 3 sentenced to the guillotine.

First up is the chav. Executioner says ‘you have a choice - face down or face the blade?’ Chav thinks he’s hard so chooses to face the blade. Executioner pulls the lever and nothing happens, pulls it time and time again and nothing happens. Eventually the Executioner says ‘it is true that if you survive the blade you walk free’ and the chav is released.

Next up is the City fan. Not to be outdone by the chav he chooses the face the blade as well. The same thing happens, the Executioner keeps yanking at the lever and nothing happens. He is allowed to join the chav in the local hostelry.

Next up is the rag and he to chooses to face the blade. Just as the Executioner is ready to pull the lever the rag ‘hang on a minute, I think I can’t see the problem’.
 
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A friend of mine went to canada to work for himself as a lumberjack
But because there has been so many accidents in recent years, the health and safety department have decreed that lumberjacks cannot work alone...... They must now work in trees/ threes
 

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