Phil Meup
Well-Known Member
Thank god there's no tumbleweed!foetus said:Phil Meup said:
This counts for Drones joke below as well
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Mad Eyed Screamer
Moderator
How are women similar to condoms?
They are either on the end of your dick or inside your wallet.
They are either on the end of your dick or inside your wallet.
johnmc
Well-Known Member
Mad Eyed Screamer said:How are women similar to condoms?
They are either on the end of your dick or inside your wallet.
We have had enough of that on the forum. Intimidating female posters. Out of order.
foetus
Well-Known Member
Q: What's the difference between a man and a condom?
A: Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!
*bringing balance to the force
A: Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!
*bringing balance to the force
Mad Eyed Screamer
Moderator
johnmc said:Mad Eyed Screamer said:How are women similar to condoms?
They are either on the end of your dick or inside your wallet.
We have had enough of that on the forum. Intimidating female posters. Out of order.
Then report it to a mod ;)
jimharri
Moderator
Got this by text earlier tonight from a mate (don't worry; he's only on weekend release and is back in custody tonight);
Wonder Woman is lying naked and asleep on a sun lounger by the pool when Superman spots her as he is flying past, he stops and thinks, I'm Superman, I could go down there right now, make love to Wonder Woman and be out of there before she knew what happened to her. So he flies down, makes love to her and flies away. A few seconds later Wonder Woman wakes up and says, what the hell was that, then the invisible man who's been lying in between her legs says, I don't know what it was either, but my arse hurts like hell.
An oldie but not TOO bad.
Wonder Woman is lying naked and asleep on a sun lounger by the pool when Superman spots her as he is flying past, he stops and thinks, I'm Superman, I could go down there right now, make love to Wonder Woman and be out of there before she knew what happened to her. So he flies down, makes love to her and flies away. A few seconds later Wonder Woman wakes up and says, what the hell was that, then the invisible man who's been lying in between her legs says, I don't know what it was either, but my arse hurts like hell.
An oldie but not TOO bad.
citymantop
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 27 Apr 2011
- Messages
- 379
A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful woman walks in and sits down
at the table next to him. He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's
probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies
for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto :
'To Fly. To Serve'?
The woman looks at him blankly
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto
'Winning the hearts of the world'?
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto
'Going beyond expectations'?
The woman looks at him sternly and says
'What the fuck do you want?'
'Aha!' he says, "Ryan Air".
at the table next to him. He decides because she's wearing a uniform, she's
probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies
for, thereby impressing her greatly.
He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto :
'To Fly. To Serve'?
The woman looks at him blankly
He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto
'Winning the hearts of the world'?
Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto
'Going beyond expectations'?
The woman looks at him sternly and says
'What the fuck do you want?'
'Aha!' he says, "Ryan Air".
bitterblue78
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 28 Feb 2009
- Messages
- 1,137
knox, knox....."whos there".........interpol
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
A man walks into a chemist, buys a condom, then walks out laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Who knows, maybe it's a good thing.
The next day, the same man comes back to the store, purchases yet another condom, and once again he leaves in hysterics , the pharmacist thinks "What's could be so funny about buying a condom, anyway?" So he tells his assistant "If he ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes."
Sure enough, the next day the same man is back, he buys the condom, and again starts cracking up with laughter, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his assistant, to follow him.
About an hour later, the assistant comes back to the store. "Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.
The assistant replies "Your house."....
The next day, the same man comes back to the store, purchases yet another condom, and once again he leaves in hysterics , the pharmacist thinks "What's could be so funny about buying a condom, anyway?" So he tells his assistant "If he ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes."
Sure enough, the next day the same man is back, he buys the condom, and again starts cracking up with laughter, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his assistant, to follow him.
About an hour later, the assistant comes back to the store. "Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist.
The assistant replies "Your house."....