Junior football, manager issues, any advice appreciated

Didsbury Dave said:
Having been a junior football coach for 4 years after my son's coach died I can tell you confidently that a high percentage of junior football coaches are utter morons. This guy clearly is one of those.

Take it to the club welfare officer. They have to take complaints seriously.
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I'll echo that, having been a junior team coach for 11 years. The OPs story almost sounds like a case study in what not to do from the Respect training course. Definitely take it to the welfare officer.
 
Gremlin said:
I'll echo that, having been a junior team coach for 11 years. The OPs story almost sounds like a case study in what not to do from the Respect training course. Definitely take it to the welfare officer.
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The people who take it too seriously are totally and utterly pathetic, aren't they? This clown is clearly one of those. I found that they are often blokes with pretty shit lives who get some kind of validation from the "authority" that being a coach gives them.

You're supposed to be inclusive, to encourage, to make it fun...and to teach them respect for teammates and opponents.
 
Didsbury Dave said:
The people who take it too seriously are totally and utterly pathetic, aren't they? This clown is clearly one of those. I found that they are often blokes with pretty shit lives who get some kind of validation from the "authority" that being a coach gives them.

You're supposed to be inclusive, to encourage, to make it fun...and to teach them respect for teammates and opponents.
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Absolutely. I'm about to hang up my boots as the lads are now at U18 level and about to move on to Uni etc. However, my proudest achievement was at the end of last season when, despite having not won a single match all season, every single one of them signed up for the following season, because they were having fun with their mates and didn't care about the results. And that is what it is all about.
 
Gremlin said:
I'll echo that, having been a junior team coach for 11 years. The OPs story almost sounds like a case study in what not to do from the Respect training course. Definitely take it to the welfare officer.
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Gremlin & DD thanks both for the advice, I was starting to doubt myself and that I should just let it go.
Thanks
 
Didsbury Dave said:
The people who take it too seriously are totally and utterly pathetic, aren't they? This clown is clearly one of those. I found that they are often blokes with pretty shit lives who get some kind of validation from the "authority" that being a coach gives them.

You're supposed to be inclusive, to encourage, to make it fun...and to teach them respect for teammates and opponents.
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Your right, I wouldn,t mind so much if they had an element of proper management/development skills that you could see was helping the boys, infact change that to a degree of common sense, without that it has been purely about enjoying playing with his mates.
 
havefaith said:
Thanks in advance for any advice, guidance. It's a bit of a tale so apologies for length of post, I,m not sure which way to go with it.


Last October took my lad to watch his mates play a match ( he was out injured) anyway, we go to support his mates.


First half their manager (bear in mind manager is one of the other kids in the team dad, who took it on couple of years back) was going balistic at his teamates, and i mean extreme shouting and screaming ( to such an extent referee and opposing parents said he was out of order at the end of the game).


I,m stood with parents of our team, everyone not happy but no one said a word at the time, I was raging and my lad wasn,t even playing, told them i, be over there pull him up if my lad was playing. Left soon as final whistle went to avoid giving him a mouthful in front of my lad.


Later that night in whatsapp group manager acknowledges he had been a bit negative but asked parents to question there boys commitment and desire to play.


one of the other kids mum points out they did their best and deserve support from sidelines no matter how bad the performance (they got battered 7 nil by a far superior team a division or 2 higher than them).


At this point managers wife jumps in and points out as parent she would appreciate if someone told her her child was lacking in effort.


At this point i basically told her to pipe down as she wasnt there and has no idea what actually happened.

And for the referee and opposing parents to comment how bad it was should give her an idea it was a bit more than being a bit negative, to which there was no response

Come January my lad decides he no longer wanted to play for his team (been with them since 6yr old), no problem at some point he,ll get the bug again, which he now has and wants to rejoining his team.


This is far from an elite team team, (division 7 out of 9) mainly made up of his school friends, they all have own their own strengths and weaknesses. Any development of the team has been I would say a natural development as they've got older rather than any great management.


Anyway here's the crux, wife contacted manager -

no spaces can come and train,

Then we find out 3 players are leaving

Told only 2 being replaced, and trials to held

Can my lad come along

No! we're looking for a left footer and a player similar to one leaving

Questioned my lads commitment

Again added he can come and train but he won,t be playing.


Now I,m not blinkered and think my lads the best thing since slice bread, he's 11 never pushed him let him develop at his own pace with a little input here and there, main one being to think, and don't panic/rush when playing the ball.


Now for me he's on a par with his mates, certainly not the worse in the team.


Now if this was an elite team fair enough I appreciate they would expect blood, sweat and tears and far higher level of commitment.

So for me this is now a personal issue, he can't have an issue with my lad he's 11 for god sake and a lovely natured lad, the manager has contradicted himself on numerous points he's made in the messages he's sent.

So I now have an 11year old who can't understand why he hasn't had a place back in the team/squad knowing three lads have left.

I,m not going to tell him (not yet anyway) the manager has basically said he's not good enough and questioned his commitment. Commitment levels at 11 are a mild conversation compared to say him be 16 and pissing a chance up at a top team.

Now part of me wants to give him a mouthful and point out what a dickhead he's being as I said if it was an elite team fair enough but it's far from that so for me any football related issues are a smokescreen for me upsetting his wife.

So my plan is to basically complain to the club chairman, are they likely to take it serious or am i wasting my time,

I know the easy answer is move on find him another club, but he's not going to want to that as all his school friends/mates are in the team.

Not only that it's only matter of time before his mates, one of which is managers son, start asking him why he's not rejoined
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The guys an utter cock and your son is better off miles away from him. I’m sure there are other local teams he’ll be much better off at.

I did it for getting on for 10 years and it’s something that can be really stressful or highly rewarding but one thing I learned from watching and listening to other coaches is screaming at young lads has the opposite effect to what you want.

I sat down with all the parents when I first took it on and explained that I wasn’t interested in winning under 9’s leagues but was there to help each kid develop as a footballer and that enjoyment, skill and a good team ethic were what I was most concerned with. We win a couple of cups and 1 title over the 7 years they were together but the all learnt and developed to the point some had trials at Cuty, Rags, Blackburn, Wigan and Bury.
At age 16 in the bury schools cup final I had all but 2 of them on the pitch within the 2 teams at Gigg lane and can safely say I was proud as fuck.
 
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