Kids.....What's the point of them?

[SWP's back]

I understand why in centuries gone it made a lot of sense to have children. For a start there was little you could do to stop them appearing if you actively engaged the Mrs in coitus. Secondly, people needed a large brood as half wouldn't make it to their teens and the other half would earn a wage and look after you in your old age.

But both of those issues can be avoided now without too much fuss.

They are expensive, noisy, clingy, smelly, expensive, pretty useless and no where near as cute as you think they are (Facebook is full of other peoples ugly babies and yours is likely the same no matter how much you try and tell yourself different). As soon as you have them your life isn't your own and most parents immediately become extreme right wingers demanding capital punishment for anyone that even looks at their kid with a squint.

The other thing about parents is that they automatically assume that couples without children should desperately want one as well. The wife and I get lectured often on "oh you'll change your mind don't worry" when people ask if we have kids. I can only assume that's because they want other people to go through the same 18-21 years of hell they are part way through. Did I mention they are expensive as well?

 

[Sir peace frog]

I understand why in centuries gone it made a lot of sense to have children. For a start there was little you could do to stop them appearing if you actively engaged the Mrs in coitus. Secondly, people needed a large brood as half wouldn't make it to their teens and the other half would earn a wage and look after you in your old age.

But both of those issues can be avoided now without too much fuss.

They are expensive, noisy, clingy, smelly, expensive, pretty useless and no where near as cute as you think they are (Facebook is full of other peoples ugly babies and yours is likely the same no matter how much you try and tell yourself different). As soon as you have them your life isn't your own and most parents immediately become extreme right wingers demanding capital punishment for anyone that even looks at their kid with a squint.

The other thing about parents is that they automatically assume that couples without children should desperately want one as well. The wife and I get lectured often on "oh you'll change your mind don't worry" when people ask if we have kids. I can only assume that's because they want other people to go through the same 18-21 years of hell they are part way through. Did I mention they are expensive as well?

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOU.




why didn't you post this 17 years ago and as a father of two I can only agree with you :)

 

[Lancet Fluke]

I know this is a parody thread but I'm going to give a serious answer. It's an instinct humans have to make sure the species doesn't die out I assume. I don't think I have it, I have never had the urge or frankly even the desire to have a child but I have had two partners who very much have had a burning desire to procreate that they couldn't rationally explain but was all consuming for them. I know some men who have desperately wanted children more than anything else in the world and it always strikes me as being a bit odd because I see it as more of a female trait. But then it's easy for me to say all that (as my current partner kindly "explained" to me when I was trying to persuade her that we didn't need to have children to be happy) because I have children and had the first when I was 18 so I have never really had to go through any of my adulthood knowing what it is like not to have kids. Who knows, maybe if I hadn't had kids I would now be sitting here crying, desperately wanting a child? I really don't think I would but as I say, who knows? I don't think I'm like the parents you describe, I certainly don't expect anyone to give a shit about my kids just as I (broadly speaking) don't give a shit about other people's and I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who chooses not have kids. Like everything there are pros and cons, at times having kids is wonderful, at times it is an even bigger pain in the arse than owning a dog. But I don't regret for one minute having my children (particularly as the eldest posts on here and might be reading this!). If you don't have kids good on you, no logical or practical reason why you shouldn't have a happy and fulfilled life, my experience though is that lots of women who say they don't want kids change when they get close to the age where they might no longer be able to have kids. I wouldn't describe it as a "changing of mind" because there doesn't seem to be a conscious decision being made just an uncontrollable urge. I'm not saying that will happen with your missus just don't be totally surprised if it does, no matter what logic etc tells her.

 

[SWP's back]

Cheers Lancet, not wholly a parody thread but now seemed like an opportune time given the dog thread.

For me I was never really arsed one way or another. Was engaged to a girl who was sure she would want kids and I was ok with it but my wife was always very honest about not wanting children from about our fifth date which I was more than fine with.

I'm at the age now where friends of mine are dropping like flies from the social map as they care for their newborns and the change they all undertake is rather unnerving.

 

[Phil1]

Some grow up to hate dogs and like shite bands whilst others are great.

 

[SWP's back]

Some grow up to hate dogs and like shite bands whilst others are great.

That's the problem though.

What happen if they do grow up to be the cunts you describe? Is it too late to abort at 40 years?

 

[andyhinch]

You need someone to walk the dog when your away.

 

[Lancet Fluke]

Cheers Lancet, not wholly a parody thread but now seemed like an opportune time given the dog thread.

For me I was never really arsed one way or another. Was engaged to a girl who was sure she would want kids and I was ok with it but my wife was always very honest about not wanting children from about our fifth date which I was more than fine with.

I'm at the age now where friends of mine are dropping like flies from the social map as they care for their newborns and the change they all undertake is rather unnerving.

I always liked sleep too much to have ever actively wanted to have children. For me it is the single biggest negative of having children, the lack of lies in, but then I am a lazy bastard. And now I have an old incontinent dog who wakes me up during the night needing to go out for a piss as well. That last sentence is definitely inviting a joke about my wife, isn't it.

 

[west didsblue]

I understand why in centuries gone it made a lot of sense to have children. For a start there was little you could do to stop them appearing if you actively engaged the Mrs in coitus. Secondly, people needed a large brood as half wouldn't make it to their teens and the other half would earn a wage and look after you in your old age.

But both of those issues can be avoided now without too much fuss.

They are expensive, noisy, clingy, smelly, expensive, pretty useless and no where near as cute as you think they are (Facebook is full of other peoples ugly babies and yours is likely the same no matter how much you try and tell yourself different). As soon as you have them your life isn't your own and most parents immediately become extreme right wingers demanding capital punishment for anyone that even looks at their kid with a squint.

The other thing about parents is that they automatically assume that couples without children should desperately want one as well. The wife and I get lectured often on "oh you'll change your mind don't worry" when people ask if we have kids. I can only assume that's because they want other people to go through the same 18-21 years of hell they are part way through. Did I mention they are expensive as well?

I quite enjoy annoying them and embarrassing them in front of their friends.
The plan to use them as a free taxi service failed though; once they passed their driving tests they were always out with their mates and were never around to collect me from the pub. Now they're at uni there's even less chance.

 

[willipp]

I have a 6 week old girl and currently am asking myself (usually about 3am) this very question. However, i have a 6 year old boy who is an absolute delight and genuinely is the best thing to ever happen in my life. Im pretty sure once my daughter gets past the 6 months / year stage and i finally start to sleep again she will fill our lives with just as many unforgettable moments.