Liverpool to make new signing before window closes!
Following the resignation of the Liverpool FC Open Top Bus Driver, Liverpool are now looking for a replacement!
The candidate must meet the following criteria:
• Must be equally competent to reverse the open top bus back into the garage as driving forwards!
• Must be able to handle disappointments!
• Available on an ad-hoc basis possibly needed once a decade!
• Must have a sense of humour!
Kenny the out going driver said, I have been the driver for 10 years and still not driven through the City! Its soul destroying for the over optimistic easily led 200,000 fans who line the streets for every home game singing we're going to win the league we're going to win the cup, only to watch them go out in another competition sometimes three in a week, what a record, I'm surprised we didn't celebrate that!. Even the gulls fly upside down over Anfield cos there's nothing worth shitting on! and I cant get a drink of tea in the ground because all the cups are either in Manchester or London!
When asked what he got out of his time at Liverpool? nothing apart from every where I drive now I do so in reverse as I have forgotten how to go forwards and I also have constant noise in my head! sounds like reversing sensors going beep beep beep!
James Milner was asked his thoughts on the situation and his response was that if Kenny needed to move to a bigger club to satisfy his ambitions then I wish him well ( I here he's going to Tranmere).
Since coming to Liverpool I have had to build an extension to my house for all my runners up medals. I left City so that I could hold hands with Jurgen Klapp and the rest of the team and the thrill of running towards the Kop even when we've lost is something I never experienced at City, they may win trophies but they don't hold hands!!
Finally
I think that they may get 200,000 applications for the job from the Liverpool postcodes, however once they are asked to complete an application form and show their driving licence they will all tell them to stick their job! so they may have to look at bringing in someone further a field, probably from China!