Make your own Liverpool Echo headline

[Always Ali]

Why, made up Jesus, allowing himself to be nailed to a cross 2022 years ago, should be seen as a blessing for Liverpool.

 

[KS55]

Manchester City 6. Liverpool 0

City and Liverpool share 6 goals in Etihad thriller.

 

[Always Ali]

God refuses to lay blame for stolen apple on Liverpool residents, Adam and Eve. Police wait to interview snake.

Raheem Sterling worried...

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Spitting on kids is a mark of respect and shows Liverpool is a city of great morals

 

[urban genie]

Pep spotted buying nails at homebargains while Klopp shops at B&Q shows gulf in both teams class

 

[urban genie]

These are genuine Liverpool Echo headlines from today:





I reckon they need a bit of help. Any suggestions for headlines for them?

The standard formula seems to be "Why [something completely unrelated] will be good for Liverpool"

Think some are forgetting this bit ;-)

 

[madloaf]

Why spending £87m on a striker days after City spend £51m on a striker proves Liverpool won't spend like 'oil rich' City.

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Hmm... Liverpool.com from a couple of days ago...

"Liverpool are the real winners from Raheem Sterling transfer as Man City and Chelsea have erred"​

​

Fucking hell, this is literally a paragraph from that article:

“Hopeful searches for ‘Raheem Sterling sell-on clause’ no doubt increased in Liverpool when news broke that the former Red had completed a move from Manchester City to Chelsea. Unfortunately, no such agreement exists, and none of the £47.5m will be making its way to Anfield. Even so, FSG may end up being the big winners from the move.”

 

[bluetonium]

Why finishing second means Liverpool are the real Premier League winners.

Ten games, no goals, but Nunez still a better investment that Haaland.

Guns, laundering and thievery. Standard Chartered prove perfect partner following $1.1bn fine.

Liverpool based entrepreneurs praised for start-up that allowed more ordinary fans to attend the CL final.

FA to award Liverpool +10 point asthma handicap per player, league won in August.

Ultimate Joker: Klopp's sideline strangulation of ball boy shows he's the world's best manager.

Salah 's no Sinner: Why diving is good for football.

 

[stevemacca]

'Exclusive - Conclusive proof that petrol for Toxteth Molotov cocktails was obtained from garage owned by Chelsea supporter'

 

[BrianW]

Socialist Jurgen Klopp finds brilliant NHS dentist.

 

[marco]

anniversary of dead chicken found in alley

 

[kashmir]

STOP PRESS
Thousands wiped out in Liverpool this morning










ARSEHOLES!

 

[Trevor Morley's Tache]

anniversary of dead chicken found in alley

'outpouring of grief as anniversary of chicken death remembered - Candles sell out'.

 

[Protein Junkie]

Sarina Weigman and what it means for Liverpool.

 

[Mad Eyed Screamer]

Why Manchester City having the cheapest beer in the Premier League boosts Liverpool's title hopes

 

[kippaxwarrior]

Why The Reynolds Girls not making a comeback, could signal Haaland goal drought.

I'd rather Jack than Fleetwood Mac.......

 

[JASR]

Elton’s ‘candle in the wind’ has a surprising inspiration, and it’s not what you thought!

Liverpool scientists amazing discovery - eating a type of offal whilst swimming is the best.

Liverpool invention of bricks blows humans discovery of the wheel out of the water, millions of visitors to Liverpool will find.

Will Liverpool whine be the saviour of earth, when it is found to be the only way to communicate with destructive aliens?

In todays Echo giveaway, it’s not BOGOF day, it’s NOGOF day - nick one get one free.

Starting today in the Echo, the 1st part in a 2000, one a day support column, tackling the issue of how to be humble, and what that actually entails.

 

[bluejon]

Tomorrow's Edition: Chief editor Robin Twaat with an exclusive report on how the recent heat wave boosts the mighty reds chances in midfield.

 

[Deleted member 81382]

Why Haaland scoring on his debut improves Liverpool's quadruple chances.