bluetonium
Well-Known Member
Manchester United have today raised a formal complaint with the F.A. about the behaviour of their closest footballing neighbours, Manchester City. The letter, sent by priority by David Gill at Old Trafford to himself, David Gill at the F.A., detailed a series of misdemeanours and outlandish behaviour by Manchester City fans, officials and advertising personnel that the Trafford club consider to be in breach of the peace and provocative to the point where tensions could escalate beyond control.
Earlier in the season, the Blue half of Manchester infuriated the Red half with the now infamous 'Welcome To Manchester' Carlos Tevez poster campaign, which was subject to a number of vandalism attempts from Manchester United fans, and in a year when there have been no fewer than three Derby meeting alreday, and one still to come, on-the-field confrontations have been rife also. Craig Bellamy and Shay Given were the subject of coin and bottle attacks from the crowd at Old Trafford, and spots of trouble were reported all around Eastlands after the recent cup clash there, as Manchester United's famous MIBs sought to clash with local fans, providing there weren't too many and they didn't look too nasty. Or bring any mates.
Speaking earlier today, Mr. Gill confirmed that he had complained to the F.A. about their notoriously 'noisy neighbours'. His statement read: "Despite repeated requests to quieten down and have a bit of respect for us and our history, Manchester City Football Club has repeatedly abused, insulted and provoked us over the last 18 months. This has now reached unacceptable levels and, although every attempt has been made to resolve this matter without the need for intervention, it is with much regret that we turn to the F.A. for help to resolve these issues. Quite simply, Manchester United Football Club can not tolerate any longer the threat to the status quo, and will seek to defend it's position by any means possible."
His comments were backed up by the club's leading alcoholic, Slur Alex Fergiescum, who commented that "I's jus na fair. A mean, tha git al tha dosh un we git stuck wi f*****g Roonald McDoonald. Did ya nae tha nae serve a tipple in his bistro?", whilst club joker Gary Chuckle was visibly shaken at recent jibes aimed at his chin syrup, and refused to come out of his tellytubby hideout without a lolly as an incentive.
It is thought that Manchester United will insist that City are docked a minimum of 10 points, not just this season but every season, citing the extreme stress and discomfort that they have faced as grounds for punishment, with the penalty being deemed as a fair handicap on the Eastlands club by most Meccano officials, for having pushed for silverware and dominance too hard. "You keep kicking a cockroach, and you get nipped" quipped Trafford Legend Booby Combover, who now makes a living selling tickets on eBay.
Supporter's Club Secretary Xian Wing reflected the growing ill-feeling spreading out towards the self proclaimed 'Kings of Manchester', commenting "They're so noisy that we can't even think straight or come up with a new slogan for our 'Green and Yellow' campaign, so we've had to change it to 'Green and Gold', 'cos we can think of something easy to rhyme with that. Old."
Mr. Gill spoke earlier today to confirm he had both sent and received the letter, and was looking into the complaint as a matter of priority, and is looking to fast-track the issue though the F.A.'s new 'One Rule For Us' scheme.
A spokesman for Manchester City was unavailable for comment, giving the excuse that they had a match on Sunday to focus on and a $1billion Eastlands development investment to plan.
Earlier in the season, the Blue half of Manchester infuriated the Red half with the now infamous 'Welcome To Manchester' Carlos Tevez poster campaign, which was subject to a number of vandalism attempts from Manchester United fans, and in a year when there have been no fewer than three Derby meeting alreday, and one still to come, on-the-field confrontations have been rife also. Craig Bellamy and Shay Given were the subject of coin and bottle attacks from the crowd at Old Trafford, and spots of trouble were reported all around Eastlands after the recent cup clash there, as Manchester United's famous MIBs sought to clash with local fans, providing there weren't too many and they didn't look too nasty. Or bring any mates.
Speaking earlier today, Mr. Gill confirmed that he had complained to the F.A. about their notoriously 'noisy neighbours'. His statement read: "Despite repeated requests to quieten down and have a bit of respect for us and our history, Manchester City Football Club has repeatedly abused, insulted and provoked us over the last 18 months. This has now reached unacceptable levels and, although every attempt has been made to resolve this matter without the need for intervention, it is with much regret that we turn to the F.A. for help to resolve these issues. Quite simply, Manchester United Football Club can not tolerate any longer the threat to the status quo, and will seek to defend it's position by any means possible."
His comments were backed up by the club's leading alcoholic, Slur Alex Fergiescum, who commented that "I's jus na fair. A mean, tha git al tha dosh un we git stuck wi f*****g Roonald McDoonald. Did ya nae tha nae serve a tipple in his bistro?", whilst club joker Gary Chuckle was visibly shaken at recent jibes aimed at his chin syrup, and refused to come out of his tellytubby hideout without a lolly as an incentive.
It is thought that Manchester United will insist that City are docked a minimum of 10 points, not just this season but every season, citing the extreme stress and discomfort that they have faced as grounds for punishment, with the penalty being deemed as a fair handicap on the Eastlands club by most Meccano officials, for having pushed for silverware and dominance too hard. "You keep kicking a cockroach, and you get nipped" quipped Trafford Legend Booby Combover, who now makes a living selling tickets on eBay.
Supporter's Club Secretary Xian Wing reflected the growing ill-feeling spreading out towards the self proclaimed 'Kings of Manchester', commenting "They're so noisy that we can't even think straight or come up with a new slogan for our 'Green and Yellow' campaign, so we've had to change it to 'Green and Gold', 'cos we can think of something easy to rhyme with that. Old."
Mr. Gill spoke earlier today to confirm he had both sent and received the letter, and was looking into the complaint as a matter of priority, and is looking to fast-track the issue though the F.A.'s new 'One Rule For Us' scheme.
A spokesman for Manchester City was unavailable for comment, giving the excuse that they had a match on Sunday to focus on and a $1billion Eastlands development investment to plan.