Most embarrassing public situation?

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Crooked_rain

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What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you in public? Ever soiled your knickers? Let a big trouser cough slip out? Public boner? Fell over?

Let's hear your stories, it.can be anything
 
Crooked_rain said:
What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you in public? Ever soiled your knickers? Let a big trouser cough slip out? Public boner? Fell over?

Let's hear your stories, it.can be anything
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Not me, but a mate of mine shat himself whilst walking along in Vegas.
He was wearing shorts and it was all down his legs, a right mess.
He dipped into some bushes off the sidewalk, and used his shirt to clean up the worst of it, then chucked the shirt away.
So he's then faced with a mile long walk back to the hotel. Cop car stops, and he almost gets arrested for public nudity (it's illegal in Vegas to be topless)
He explains the situation and they let him go.
Gets to the hotel lobby, the belagio i think, and it's double security checks as there's been a bomb scare.
Spends an hour at reception stinking of shit, no top on, with dried shit all on his legs.
 
crublue1 said:
Not me, but a mate of mine shat himself whilst walking along in Vegas.
He was wearing shorts and it was all down his legs, a right mess.
He dipped into some bushes off the sidewalk, and used his shirt to clean up the worst of it, then chucked the shirt away.
So he's then faced with a mile long walk back to the hotel. Cop car stops, and he almost gets arrested for public nudity (it's illegal in Vegas to be topless)
He explains the situation and they let him go.
Gets to the hotel lobby, the belagio i think, and it's double security checks as there's been a bomb scare.
Spends an hour at reception stinking of shit, no top on, with dried shit all on his legs.
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Mate of yours you say …….
 
idahoblues said:
Mate of yours you say …….
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Honestly, I'd fess up if it were me, when he tells the story it's fucking hilarious.
And it's only a small part of a disastrous trip, which included 2 incidents of lost luggage, a missed connection flight, an unforeseen 500 dollar restaurant bill, and a cruise ship abandon ship alarm.
 
I'll be honest it happen 10 days ago when I was marshaling Operation Dynamo celebrations at ramsgate.

If you are eating I would stop reading now I'm not joking !






I suddenly had the urge that I need a sh*t and I need it now, no warning. The nearest loo was back at our yard.
I started walking back, I was sweating like a pig and walking like I was trying to hold something between my arse cheeks.
100yds short it started it was like a fucking tap.
I left a trail of sh*t all along the pavement to our yard.
I had to walk past people as this was happening it was horrific.
My whole back of my right leg was brown with sh*t, (6"" in width all the way down) as was my clothing. I was almost in tears.
It took me ages to be clean enough to drive home and change.
I throw my boots, socks, shorts and underwear in the bin at work. Lucky I keep spare clothes at work.
The pavement was stained for days with my shit.

It really was a horrible incentive.
 
I was working in Tunbridge Wells during the week and flying back to Manchester on Friday evening. I went to the lounge at the gate at Gatwick and saw one of my former colleagues sat with her back to me. That was quite normal as my old company had an office nearby.

So I crept up behind her, did that Morecambe & Wise thing where he slapped someone's shoulders then their cheeks, said something rude, and this woman I'd never seen before in my life turned round. I had some explaining to do but she did see the funny side. Eventually.
 
Prestwich_Blue said:
I was working in Tunbridge Wells during the week and flying back to Manchester on Friday evening. I went to the lounge at the gate at Gatwick and saw one of my former colleagues sat with her back to me. That was quite normal as my old company had an office nearby.

So I crept up behind her, did that Morecambe & Wise thing where he slapped someone's shoulders then their cheeks, said something rude, and this woman I'd never seen before in my life turned round. I had some explaining to do but she did see the funny side. Eventually.
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Ha ha fucking quality.
 
This one does involve me, but I'm not the embarrasee, a certain police force are.
I once got arrested at an away, which I'm not proud of, but in my defence we did score early on, and I was in the home end, you can guess the rest.
I get ejected and collared straight away.
I'm frog marched to one of those mobile police prison things and locked up in the cage. No search.
So I'm on my phone just chatting and texting mates, telling them what's gone on, I'm chilled, wasn't angry, a bit bored if anything.
The duty copper seemed disinterested, until, after about an hour, his sergeant came in.
He demanded I hand over the phone. I refused, saying it hadn't been taken off me, it's my property, if you want it, you'll have to forcibly take it.
He says ok, I will, and asks for the key to the cell off PC inept.
PC inept then starts looking for the key, but can't find it. So I'm locked in a cage with no way out.
I ring my mate and tell him what's happening, which infuriates the coppers.
They eventually cut the lock and let me go.
Talk about amateur
 
Took the 82 up oldham rd to see Stardust at the Roxy. I thought I’d be the cool guy in front of everyone lining up to get in. Jumped off the back of the bus as it was still moving and went face first into a lamp post. Everyone saw it and pissed themselves laughing,
Then Lurch wouldn’t let me in because he didn’t believe I was 14.
 
Barcon said:
Took the 82 up oldham rd to see Stardust at the Roxy. I thought I’d be the cool guy in front of everyone lining up to get in. Jumped off the back of the bus as it was still moving and went face first into a lamp post. Everyone saw it and pissed themselves laughing,
Then Lurch wouldn’t let me in because he didn’t believe I was 14.
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Hardly surprising seeing as you were 44 at the time...;-)
 
Many years ago went to Cromer in Norfolk just for a day trip. We hit the pubs and had a skin full then wandered down to the beach. I laid down on the beach for a rest and passed out in the sun. Not sure of the time lapse but all of a sudden got woken up as a huge wave rolled in, completely soaking me. As I bolted upright I heard a huge roar of laughter, turned round and saw about fifty people pissing themselves laughing, my mate included, he’d left me there and people had just seen it coming. Sobered me up for sure
 
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