Most embarrassing public situation?

Kinkybyname said:
"I'm JFK... it's an exit wound!" my cry on being admitted (semi-pissed) to A&E in Preston after falling backwards on some cobbles releasing plenty of claret – worried wife admits it was funny/bit of a relief first time she heard it. Three hours later tried to hold a pillow over my face to shut me up (obvs no longer funny)... and pissed off that neighbours had complained about the "fookin' racket" I'd apparently made climbing into/out of a skip on their drive #whingeingtw@z
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I've read this 3 or 4 times and still have no idea what happened.
 
I was blind as a bat at school (still am funnily enough) and too vain to wear my specs. Anyway, walking home from school one day and this car pulls up infront of me and stops. It was a white car and resembled our white Ford Sierra. I thought oh wow my mum must have finished work early and has stopped to pick me up. So I got in.
That poor woman’s terrified look as I climbed into the passenger seat has stayed with me. I apologised profusely and got out to see her daughter come running up alongside the car. She gave me a funny look as well!
 
A non shit related story but mildly amusing.

I was quite young and working in an office in Bredbury way before computers where everything was pen and paper. I needed to correct a mistake I had written but my TipEx was too lumpy to spread (that’s not a euphemism by the way) so I needed to find some of that liquid you could mix in it to make it usable.

This company were a bunch of tightwads (rags too) and stored all the stationery in the Accounts department which was full of overweight women. So I storm in and ask the fattest one “have you got any thinner?”!

Howls of laughter as I suddenly realised how it sounded.
 
Can't help but notice the OP encouraged everyone to share their moments but didn't post his own :-)
 
When I was young and at college my method of transport was my Mum's moped which could do 28mph downhill with a following wind. My biker gear was a duffle coat and an orange crash helmet. My daily route was through Edinburgh City Centre and specifically the iconic Princes Street. As I rode along towards a set of lights my throttle stuck completely on full power. The choices I had were to run the red or stop the moped by simply holding it as best I could with my feet planted on the ground. The latter worked but in holding it the front of the moped reared up as if I was attempting to do a wheely. Every time I wrestled the hog to the ground, the front wheel would zoom skyward again. What made it worse was a school bus full of little cunts drew up beside me at the lights and 50 odd kids nearly ended themselves at the hells angel whanabee with an old ladies peaked crash helmet and duffle attempting to do wheelies with a moped on Princes Street. I got the bus to college after that.
 
I was once walking into Stretford Precinct on freezing day. As it was so cold, I had both hands in my jeans pockets. Just as I reached the door, a young lady was about to exit at the same time, at which point I involuntarily coughed, and a massive piece of green mucus released itself from my chest. What seemed like an eternity, in slow motion, it spiralled through the air and landed on her jet black coat lapel, like a pea green octopus brooch. I did contemplate wiping it off, but thought better of it, as it was close to her left tit. I can still remember the look of horror on her face to this day. I ended up scurrying through the crowd and hid behind the book section in Menzies till I was sure she had gone.
 
pee dubya said:
Was in London and since it's just before pay day was a wee bit cash strapped. Had to catch the tube to meet some pals, but thought I'd save a bit on the fare for beer tokens.

As soon as I slipped through the turnstile some posh Eton sounding twat shoved a camera in my face and started trying to shame me for not paying. Told him to fuck off.

Video ended up getting millions of views.

Still skipped the fare on the way back anyway....
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link please
 
This probably isn't the most embarrassing thing I've ever done but it happened very recently so I might as well post it.

I passed my driving test a couple of months ago. The other night I was driving in Manchester city centre. Usually when I'm heading into town I come through via Reddish and Gorton and park up behind the Tobacco Factory on the edge of the Green Quarter, near Angel Meadows.

But I was heading somewhere right in the centre of town on this occasion, so I decided to go via the A6 and come up Great Ancoats and park in the Northern Quarter. Pretty quickly after turning off Great Ancoats I got stuck in a one-way system I didn't know very well, and I was holding up some traffic behind me, so I just took my first left into order to get out of the way.

Turned the wrong way straight into a fucking one-way road that's also a cycle lane. Three cyclists, two pedestrians, and a van driver, all looking at right me going the wrong way down a one-way street that was also reserved for cyclists. Thankfully they weren't shouting, but they were laughing. Just tried to avoid eye contact and waited for the ground to swallow me up. I got off the road and parked up nearby and went back to check the junction.

Yep. No left turns signs everywhere, at least three of them. I'd just missed them in a panic while I was trying to get out of everyone else's way. There were little cameras on every set of traffic lights, so now waiting for a letter in the post asking for £100 and dreading getting points on my license. Days after taking my P-plates off as well. An honest mistake but fuck me I just wanted to go home after that.
 
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Saddleworth2 said:
When I was young and at college my method of transport was my Mum's moped which could do 28mph downhill with a following wind. My biker gear was a duffle coat and an orange crash helmet. My daily route was through Edinburgh City Centre and specifically the iconic Princes Street. As I rode along towards a set of lights my throttle stuck completely on full power. The choices I had were to run the red or stop the moped by simply holding it as best I could with my feet planted on the ground. The latter worked but in holding it the front of the moped reared up as if I was attempting to do a wheely. Every time I wrestled the hog to the ground, the front wheel would zoom skyward again. What made it worse was a school bus full of little cunts drew up beside me at the lights and 50 odd kids nearly ended themselves at the hells angel whanabee with an old ladies peaked crash helmet and duffle attempting to do wheelies with a moped on Princes Street. I got the bus to college after that.
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Most of my embarrassing moments involve motorbikes, The bike shop I used to visit was on a main road and I just used to hop my bike up the kerb and park on the pavement in front of the shop trying to act cool,
This one day I was on a bigger bike it was pissing down with rain, the bike shop was full of my mates and the nearby bus stop was full of pretty young girls, needless to say I had underestimated the weight of the bike and the back wheel would just not go up the wet kerb, I stuggled to get the bastard bike up the kerb for what seemed like hours until eventually the bike slipped over, I fell off and rolled around in a big puddle trying desperatly to stand up, Everyone in the district was pissing themselves laughing and I always used the car park round the back after that :-)
Another time trying to impress a girl I zoomed off on my bike with the side stand still down needless to say the first left hand bend I came to the bike pivoted on the stand and threw me into the hedge!
I am just so glad the mobile phone had not been invented when I was young :-)
 
I once tried getting on an EasyJet plane at Manchester airport to Ibiza. I had a little drink or two to settle my nerves, but they refused to let me on due to the offensive socks I was wearing. that, and I'm a complete **** that thinks it's ok to abuse people just doing their work.
Anyway...I tried acting dead hard to intimate the staff, but that FAILED and i get a smack on the jaw for it!
Then I find out someone filmed it all. I ain't how it looks....
 
Walking in the park with my two kids many years ago, suddenly needed a shit right then or shit my pants, that was the choice I had. Never happened before or since, weird. I had to shit in some not so bushy bushes. My son was wetting himself and my daughter completely traumatised.
 
youngbob said:
This probably isn't the most embarrassing thing I've ever done but it happened very recently so I might as well post it.

I passed my driving test a couple of months ago. The other night I was driving in Manchester city centre. Usually when I'm heading into town I come through via Reddish and Gorton and park up behind the Tobacco Factory on the edge of the Green Quarter, near Angel Meadows.

But I was heading somewhere right in the centre of town on this occasion, so I decided to go via the A6 and come up Great Ancoats and park in the Northern Quarter. Pretty quickly after turning off Great Ancoats I got stuck in a one-way system I didn't know very well, and I was holding up some traffic behind me, so I just took my first left into order to get out of the way.

Turned the wrong way straight into a fucking one-way road that's also a cycle lane. Three cyclists, two pedestrians, and a van driver, all looking at right me going the wrong way down a one-way street that was also reserved for cyclists. Thankfully they weren't shouting, but they were laughing. Just tried to avoid eye contact and waited for the ground to swallow me up. I got off the road and parked up nearby and went back to check the junction.

Yep. No left turns signs everywhere, at least three of them. I'd just missed them in a panic while I was trying to get out of everyone else's way. There were little cameras on every set of traffic lights, so now waiting for a letter in the post asking for £100 and dreading getting points on my license. Days after taking my P-plates off as well. An honest mistake but fuck me I just wanted to go home after that.
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Shouldn’t get points for that. You will be fined though.
 
He’stheleftbackremember said:
Walking in the park with my two kids many years ago, suddenly needed a shit right then or shit my pants, that was the choice I had. Never happened before or since, weird. I had to shit in some not so bushy bushes. My son was wetting himself and my daughter completely traumatised.
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lol.

My mate shat himself in a car with his wife, her brother and brothers new girlfriend in it!
 
youngbob said:
Yeah it's totally fair enough. Like I said, honest mistake but it's a mistake all the same. The face of one of the cyclists was a picture - thankfully he must have seen how embarrassed I was because he just laughed, lol.
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One of them things. I got done in Manc for driving over the bus lane. Just slightly but that was enough. They made £10m just on Oxford Road one year.
 
I faceplanted in slow motion outside maine road once, its quite humbling to have hundreds of people chanting you fell over at you
 
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