Lucky Toma
Well-Known Member
I’m really sorry about the length of this guys. Please feel free to ignore. But my head is in a thousand pieces here.
I have changed the names of the people involved.
Three years ago – on a big weekend away for someone’s birthday with my ex – I met a couple called John and Jane who were casual friends of my ex..
Me and John didn’t have much in common. But Jane – even though she was 13 years younger than me – and me clicked because we had the same sense of humour.
Four months later John and Jane were on a ‘break’ and she turned up at another weekend away. Me and my ex were going through a rough time so me and Jane hung out and made each other laugh. Nothing occurred sexually and at the end of the weekend she said I was her big brother looking out for her.
For the next two years what established itself was this –
John and Jane were a couple.
I became Jane’s best mate and she became mine.
John was fine with this because he knew nothing was going on between us (and on many occasions I would help with their relationship by advising her to stay with him during rocky patches).
Eight months ago, in January, Jane split up with John. She had been with him for six years, since she was a teen, and needed to experience life on her own. He was very controlling and manipulative. She got her own place and moved on.
Through all this time I was there for her. Even though we lived on the other side of the country (me in North west, her in Brighton) we would speak every day, text multiple times a day, Skype, you name it.
She started to date guys and I was almost like her gay best mate (I’m not gay). Always a shoulder to cry on or someone to experience her highs with. And vise versa.
By this time we literally couldn’t be closer as mates and as people.
In March John sent Jane a text saying he could no longer bear speaking or receiving texts from her so their experiment to remain friends was over. He didn’t contact her for another four months.
During this time me and Jane began to become more than friends. This happened organically and almost against our will. Initially we were best mates/fuck buddies. Then I went down for most of this summer to stay with her and feelings grew. We were awesome together. She was like the female version of me and I was the male version of her. We spent, and enjoyed every minute together.
During my time down there John called around one day, out of the blue, and asked to speak to her alone. I went out to a casino. When I got back she said he’d cried and told her he still loved her. That he would do everything he could to win her back.
Jane wasn’t interested in this but still cared for him deeply and wanted – and needed - him in her life (as a friend). And maybe….in the future….something more again.
After a long brilliant stay down there I returned home and we both sunk into a deep depression. We missed each other unbelievably much and it was now very apparent we had strong feelings for each other.
We would now speak about four hours a day. Text about 30 times a day.
I promised to return south very soon.
I was supposed to be leaving today at 3pm. I have my ticket paid for and my suitcase in the bedroom all packed.
But yesterday John called at hers. He had found out that I was coming down again and wanted to know what was happening between us. She denied anything was going on.
He asked if we’d had sex and when he didn’t believe her denial he started crying.
So she said we’d only had sex once and woke up regretting it. This is a lie but even that was enough to break him.
He became extremely abusive towards her and tried to make her phone me and end our ‘friendship’ (which in reality was now far far more than that).
‘Well you’ve just chosen him then you c***’ he screamed and left.
Not before saying that he planned to sit in his car for all of today and wait for me. Then he planned to put me in hospital (as fucking if! I’m pretty handy and he wouldn’t stand a chance with me)
She called me in floods of tears. ‘He knows. He knows!’
I tried desperately to persuade her that it was okay. That I would come down today and things would work out.
But he had interpreted what we’d both done as a huge unforgivable betrayal (in my mind it isn’t remotely a betrayal. He wasn’t ever my mate and she was very much so….and over time….when she was SINGLE…..we gradually, unintentially became more)
I phoned him and he just hurled abuse at me and hung up.
He spoke to her on the phone and made it very clear that if there was ever any chance of them becoming friends again….and maybe more in the future….I would have to be completely out of the picture.
And so when I phoned her back this evening she had made up her mind.
Me and her were over. In every way.
What are your thoughts? Is he as out-of-order as my mind tells me?
Have me and Jane done anything wrong?
And how wrong is what she has done to me?
Sincerely, thank you for reading this.
I have changed the names of the people involved.
Three years ago – on a big weekend away for someone’s birthday with my ex – I met a couple called John and Jane who were casual friends of my ex..
Me and John didn’t have much in common. But Jane – even though she was 13 years younger than me – and me clicked because we had the same sense of humour.
Four months later John and Jane were on a ‘break’ and she turned up at another weekend away. Me and my ex were going through a rough time so me and Jane hung out and made each other laugh. Nothing occurred sexually and at the end of the weekend she said I was her big brother looking out for her.
For the next two years what established itself was this –
John and Jane were a couple.
I became Jane’s best mate and she became mine.
John was fine with this because he knew nothing was going on between us (and on many occasions I would help with their relationship by advising her to stay with him during rocky patches).
Eight months ago, in January, Jane split up with John. She had been with him for six years, since she was a teen, and needed to experience life on her own. He was very controlling and manipulative. She got her own place and moved on.
Through all this time I was there for her. Even though we lived on the other side of the country (me in North west, her in Brighton) we would speak every day, text multiple times a day, Skype, you name it.
She started to date guys and I was almost like her gay best mate (I’m not gay). Always a shoulder to cry on or someone to experience her highs with. And vise versa.
By this time we literally couldn’t be closer as mates and as people.
In March John sent Jane a text saying he could no longer bear speaking or receiving texts from her so their experiment to remain friends was over. He didn’t contact her for another four months.
During this time me and Jane began to become more than friends. This happened organically and almost against our will. Initially we were best mates/fuck buddies. Then I went down for most of this summer to stay with her and feelings grew. We were awesome together. She was like the female version of me and I was the male version of her. We spent, and enjoyed every minute together.
During my time down there John called around one day, out of the blue, and asked to speak to her alone. I went out to a casino. When I got back she said he’d cried and told her he still loved her. That he would do everything he could to win her back.
Jane wasn’t interested in this but still cared for him deeply and wanted – and needed - him in her life (as a friend). And maybe….in the future….something more again.
After a long brilliant stay down there I returned home and we both sunk into a deep depression. We missed each other unbelievably much and it was now very apparent we had strong feelings for each other.
We would now speak about four hours a day. Text about 30 times a day.
I promised to return south very soon.
I was supposed to be leaving today at 3pm. I have my ticket paid for and my suitcase in the bedroom all packed.
But yesterday John called at hers. He had found out that I was coming down again and wanted to know what was happening between us. She denied anything was going on.
He asked if we’d had sex and when he didn’t believe her denial he started crying.
So she said we’d only had sex once and woke up regretting it. This is a lie but even that was enough to break him.
He became extremely abusive towards her and tried to make her phone me and end our ‘friendship’ (which in reality was now far far more than that).
‘Well you’ve just chosen him then you c***’ he screamed and left.
Not before saying that he planned to sit in his car for all of today and wait for me. Then he planned to put me in hospital (as fucking if! I’m pretty handy and he wouldn’t stand a chance with me)
She called me in floods of tears. ‘He knows. He knows!’
I tried desperately to persuade her that it was okay. That I would come down today and things would work out.
But he had interpreted what we’d both done as a huge unforgivable betrayal (in my mind it isn’t remotely a betrayal. He wasn’t ever my mate and she was very much so….and over time….when she was SINGLE…..we gradually, unintentially became more)
I phoned him and he just hurled abuse at me and hung up.
He spoke to her on the phone and made it very clear that if there was ever any chance of them becoming friends again….and maybe more in the future….I would have to be completely out of the picture.
And so when I phoned her back this evening she had made up her mind.
Me and her were over. In every way.
What are your thoughts? Is he as out-of-order as my mind tells me?
Have me and Jane done anything wrong?
And how wrong is what she has done to me?
Sincerely, thank you for reading this.