my works christmas do is at the swamp...........

[Blue Si O.B]

some winter wonderland themed party.

wtf do i do?

i dont want to look like im being petty by not going but i really dont want to go there.
what do you all think i should do?
i know for certain i wont be spending any money in there, my boss said he will be putting money behind the bar for drinks but once that goes im on my own.
help!!! :(

 

[There is a Light]

Decisions decisions.. where would you have a shit?

Honestly, I wouldn't go. Not a chance.

 

[Cellarite]

a piss on the carpet here, a flooded toilet there. just minor bits of damage that will go unnoticed during a boozy night.

 

[Citizen52]

I was inclined to say just sack it off but I realise how it looks to colleagues and all that.

I'd just go for whatever your boss is paying for, get there early and use as much of his allocation as possible, then clear off.

Not that I am a cheapskate or anything...

At least that way you keep people happy and don't pay the Great Satan anything.

 

[Big G]

I hate works doo's with a passion, always full of cunts talking shop, there are a select few colleague's who I will go for a drink with but noooo to a works do,
Here is my long standing quote when asked about attending a works doo
"Just because I work with you doesnt mean I have to socialise with you",
If anyone gets the hump explain that you go to work to pay the bill's and nail hookers, not to make friends, the works do is on hooker nailing night.

 

[kippaxwarrior]

I was sick once in the Munich Tunnel at The Swamp
True story

 

[scall11]

Take laxatives and Bobby Sands the place

 

[Mike N]

My place went there 2 years ago. I didnt go.

 

[salfordpaul]

yob you've got to turn this in your favour!

get loads of love glazer/hate utd stickers ( you'll have to do that one on yer own) turn up and have a free fucking party!

1) go to bog and piss on floor EVERY time
2) if you need a no 2 again on the floor
3) take stinkbombs for the end of the night
4) put your stickers everywhere and i mean everywhere. go on a mooch if you can and put em all over the place
5) take a very tall friend so that you can put them on very high ceilings ( on his shoulders) they wont spot them until its too late ( next match day)

let me know when it is and i'll come down for some chaos!

 

[Scottyboi]

Small bag of cement down the urinal (use a sandwich bag)
Take the lid of the cistern and have a shit in it, place lid back on.

undo the waste on the sinks if not reachable twist the taps. Shove some tissue under the hand dryer to see if it catch's a light.

Will think of some more later.