Nice things...

How do you know the poo only needs one wipe? I do one wipe and the second is sometimes pointless but i wouldnt know that. Some times i do one wipe and ‘think’ thats enough but the cautionary second wipe is just as shitty and next minute im chasing shite up the crack of my arse

Sometimes the one wipe produces a blank sheet. Another wipe would mean you are just doing it for pleasure.
 
How do you know the poo only needs one wipe? I do one wipe and the second is sometimes pointless but i wouldnt know that. Some times i do one wipe and ‘think’ thats enough but the cautionary second wipe is just as shitty and next minute im chasing shite up the crack of my arse
this is not always possible in a public bog but if the tap is right there who doesn't finish the wipe with a little wadded up toilet paper with a little water run from the the tap? As good as a wash cloth, fresh as a daisy.
 
Having a wank using someone else's hand.
Which coincides with the only known benefit of laying on your arm the wrong way and having your hand "fall asleep". Feels like someone else is doing it.
Timing it to finish as the pins and needles kick in is tricky.
 
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