I was on a Greek beach with my (then) Mrs back in the 90s and noticed a guy in his 70s swimming and thought nothing of it. Next minute he came up on the the beach right in front of us. About 50 strands of hair swept back into a old hippy like ponytail, saggy bronzed skin, big fuck off Jim'll fix badge sized medallion and a pair of bright green budgies on. He walked past us and we just stared, aghast and slack jawed. What made it worse was the seedy looking old twat had been weighing up all topless girls with a semi on. He hadn't even shaved his David Bellamy beard like pubes. Was like 2000 rusty watch springs poking out the sides!
You sure it was Greece..???[/QUOTE]
Could have been any European beach TRB but one of the Greek islands we holidayed on....
First time I went abroad with my ex Mrs was to Cala Millor Majorca In 91. I'd never seen topless young ladies in skimpy bikini bottoms before and being a virile young man my eyes were like pickles on sticks, topless totty abounded. Now my Mrs was(and still is) very attractive and although I was totally faithful and loved her dearly I couldn't help notice a gorgeous group of Dutch beauties lay their towels no more than 3 yards behind us.
I was lay on my stomach at the time chilled out catching the sun, headphones in. Mrs sunbathing and most likely reading a novel and in her element. As the girls lay sunbathing I couldn't help but notice., especially when they went topless. I soon got a semi on and before I knew it, well put it this way, if I stood up they could have hung their towel on it. My Mrs said my back was starting to burn and peel but the was oblivious I had a fuckin' hard on, budgies head popping out the top of my smugglers and straining.
She said - "why don't you turn over and lay on your back, you're burning up".... No, I'll be alright love(guilty gulp I think she sussed out why I wouldn't) just rub some more cream in if you would please"... She fell for it and when she finished I noticed she wasn't looking so I discreetly put my towel around me and changed into my beach shorts, baggy enough to hide the bulge.
"C'mon love I think we'll go and get a drink and bite to eat".... Just as we were leaving I saw an impression in the sand(think a mini version of Dorset's Cerne Abbas if you catch my drift;
) and quickly rubbed out the impression with my foot in red faced embarrassment before we walked off the beach. I think one of the Dutch girls sussed me and gave a wry smile, and my wife's intuition suggested she had an inkling as to why my back was burnt and my chest wasn't lol; )
True tale..... But I wasn't a dirty old man looking to perv like weirdo watch spring Wally, and that's a big difference.
True tale...
