Parents, Dementia and Money

My partner did one each for mother and father. Her cousin is a solicitor (seems like not a very good one) and helped fill in the forms. Got letters yesterday one accepted and one turned down. Reason the mother's rejected was relationship between certificate provider and replacement attorney. I understand that might be issue but why we're both not rejected. Father's been accepted and signed by same people. We submitted these in Oct, now back to square one. Looks like her cousin might be applying to get my partner as the mum's deputy
 
OP, its certainly not a nice thing to have to do, but with such nasty individuals around these days the alternative results could be devastating all round.
I am going through the same thing with my father who has Altzheimers, we started the process last October and its still not been finalised although they took the fees both parts in December.
 
ob said:
My partner did one each for mother and father. Her cousin is a solicitor (seems like not a very good one) and helped fill in the forms. Got letters yesterday one accepted and one turned down. Reason the mother's rejected was relationship between certificate provider and replacement attorney. I understand that might be issue but why we're both not rejected. Father's been accepted and signed by same people. We submitted these in Oct, now back to square one. Looks like her cousin might be applying to get my partner as the mum's deputy
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It could be to do with the order the document was signed and dated by the people concerned.
There is a very proscribed order that they have to be done in and getting them wrong will lead to rejection.
 
The best way round this problem is when you turn 65, hand over all your money to your children for safekeeping.
 
Blue Maverick. Sympathies it’s a crap situation which I’ve been through with both divorced parents.
Good advice already given. Sort the POA for money and Health and Well-being if you can.

I ended up with POA for both my parents and resorted to leaving my dad with an out of date credit card, the details of which he happily gave out to multiple shyster callers.

For both parents I took out a really small mortgage on their properties which I paid to make sure shysters couldn’t didle them out of their houses.

Leaving your parents with dignity and a feeling that they are not helpless yet taking control is really difficult and stressful. But what I found is that after a while you looking after finances etc becomes the norm.

Good luck and be strong
 
denislawsbackheel said:
It could be to do with the order the document was signed and dated by the people concerned.
There is a very proscribed order that they have to be done in and getting them wrong will lead to rejection.
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I filled in the forms myself for my Mum and got the dates in the wrong order. We only had to resign and date the one sheet and send it back. It delayed things for some months although that was in the first lockdown.
 
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Blue Maverick said:
On Friday my dad came very close to giving all his money to a very convincing fraudster on the phone, luckily a very switched on neighbour stopped him and since then I’ve helped him sort it out. He was diagnosed with Parkinsons a few years ago but my we’ve all noticed he’s not as sharp as he used to be, these bastards are good at been convincing especially with texts, emails etc. I’ve warned him numerous times but now I think it’s getting to the stage where I or my brother and sister need to step in.
Is there a way of taking control of his finances, I want to be able to block anything like this happening again, I don’t want to do this but I fear one day he will lose the lot, he easily does stuff and it’s a face plant moment when he tells me. He’s a proud man and I can see it upsets him but I want what’s best for him and my mum (she’s no idea about money etc).
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I would happily blowtorch those bastards who prey on old frail people. Utter scum.
 
Saddens me the type of people that pick on the vunerable. In a similar situation in terms of a parent that's starting to lose grip on life at 62, my mother is working but struggling to keep pace of it. Her mental state is low, she has had depression on and off for 25 years and had a breakdown last year after my grandad died. She forgets to pay bills, turns up late for any dinners, and sits starting into space and we want to help more. But we need to take control to do that. Unfortuantely it will get to the point where someone else steps in I'm afraid. All we can do is be there for her and hope we catch any bad moments early.
 
Manchester1894 said:
Saddens me the type of people that pick on the vunerable. In a similar situation in terms of a parent that's starting to lose grip on life at 62, my mother is working but struggling to keep pace of it. Her mental state is low, she has had depression on and off for 25 years and had a breakdown last year after my grandad died. She forgets to pay bills, turns up late for any dinners, and sits starting into space and we want to help more. But we need to take control to do that. Unfortuantely it will get to the point where someone else steps in I'm afraid. All we can do is be there for her and hope we catch any bad moments early.
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It’s shit getting old pal, hope everything works out.
 
Anyone any experiences about putting your parents into a care home ?
My mum is 92 with Dementia
Dad is 94 and all switched on and has been her carer with help from the family. When I say help they’ve been very proud and reluctant to have any outside help at all.
4 days ago my brother found dad on the floor in the bathroom, he’s still in hospital, so my brother , my wife and myself have been sleeping on the floor looking after my mum . This can’t continue and this morning she’s been accepted in to a care home which mum & dad will have to pay for out of savings . She’s going in tomorrow and we are all feeling guilty about this . Anyone been through this with any tips or suggestions
 
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