Parents threatening their children

[mccity]

I've got a neighbour who's constantly threatening to 'twat' her kids and beat them up for the most minor thing on a daily basis pretty much. The thing is, I've never seen the kids with injuries and they seem pretty normal, albeit sadly likely to turn out the way their mum is. Nearly every time I'm in the garden I hear it. What should I do? The kids are maybe about 12 and 10 years old.

If you're really bothered and sure there's a problem you should knock on and let the mother know you can hear all of this. If she really recognizes the malevolence of her ways then she'll stop and if she doesn't well at least you can report it in sound mind. What's likely though is that she'll get highly offended and slam the door in your face and tell you to fuck off, but at least you have the conscience of not going behind her back when you make the next steps.



Although, if at all possible, maybe it's worth getting to know her and the situation at hand if anything. Maybe she's living an extremely stressful life and needs support more than anything. Maybe she'd never harm her children but she just uses language her parents used with her and she'd think it's normal; maybe it's her equivalent of threatening to take the toys away. I'm not saying threatening to hit your kids is right, but maybe there's more to this. Of course, she could just be a nutter and these kids really are in a bad position.


If you're absolutely convinced there's a problem then address it directly; either with her or if you think the kids are in real imminent danger with the authorities. But you need to be sure because otherwise you'll be putting an otherwise innocent family through a shitstorm in an already rough time. Otherwise do some reconnaissance and learn a little about it all. Invite her in for a cup of tea.

 

[Mike Cledford]

Wooden spoons? You were lucky to have a wooden spoon.

Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing 'Hallelujah.'

But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

Nope, nope..

Eee but that was Yo'kshire

 

[Mancity1980]

Eee but that was Yo'kshire

Ohhhh we used to DREAM of livin' in Yo'kshire! Woulda' been a palace to us.

 

[Crouchinho]

My mum didn't do threats, she just used to wallop us, the slag!!

Anyway, I personally wouldn't report it unless you think its really serious. Social services or whatever they're called these days only really look at physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, malnutrition and neglect. Verbal abuse is always a grey area otherwise everyone's kids would be taken away if threats are made. I know people that work in the profession here and back home, there are so many time wasters and zero cases that it ends up being the boy who cried wolf.

As I said if you think its real serious go ahead. I think we would have all lost our mums and dads in this day and age!!!!

 

[Gorton_Tubster]

I've got a neighbour who's constantly threatening to 'twat' her kids and beat them up for the most minor thing on a daily basis pretty much. The thing is, I've never seen the kids with injuries and they seem pretty normal, albeit sadly likely to turn out the way their mum is. Nearly every time I'm in the garden I hear it. What should I do? The kids are maybe about 12 and 10 years old.

Behave worse. It's an eye opener to these guys and I dint see the light until I actually saw for myself (I wasnt going to be told) what I looked like. I wasnt that bad though.

Definately upbringing, not their fault, just like it isnt their kids fault when they take up the same behaviour.

 

[m7mcfc]

I used to get cracked on the back of the thigh or across the ear from my Mother.

Never thought anything of it. I probably deserved it.

If she’d ever said the words “if you don’t stop fucking doing my head in I’m going to twat the shit out of you, you little ****” I don’t think I’d ever have spoken to her again.

Thankfully she just gave me the odd crack and never spoke to me the way you hear some parents speak to their kids.

Nothing wrong with an ear warmer. It put you in your place.

 

[johnnytapia]

Come off it man. The virtue signaller has no knowledge of the situation beyond a post on a forum and just wanted to trumpet his own parenting prowess. I explained in a reply to uncle wally that in an ideal world everything no matter how small would be investigated but there are finite resources.

Calling out some “look at me” gobshite on a forum does not mean I’m part of the look the other way brigade at all. Anyone who would claim that must be as you yourself put it “a first class idiot”

I wanted to trumpet my parenting prowess? And I'm a "virtue-signaller". Aye, course I am. Nothing to do with the numerous cases I've had to deal with where children have been abused, verbally and physically, the bedwetting, the soiling, the husk of a person that they become. The OP spoke about repeatedly hearing verbal abuse. The right thing is to report it. You carry on talking bollocks, you're very good at it. "First class" in fact.

 

[johnnytapia]

I’m all for erring on the side of caution and reporting something you’ve seen with your own eyes. Is the OP within his rights to report it ? Yes probably although I personally wouldn’t if I were him based on him saying he’s never seen injuries and they seem pretty normal but I accept it’s a judgement call.

What I’m arguing against is the offer of mr virtuous to report wrongdoing based on what he read on a football forum posted by somebody I presume he doesn’t know.

 

[BlueTG]

For minor things like you say, it doesn’t sound like a proportionate response.

These kids will be starting to take these behaviours with them throughout their lives, and they’re coming up to a critical point in their development where they face a lot of internal turmoil and turbulence, if not so already.

The “it happened to me and I turned out alright” rhetoric doesn’t justify it.

I politely told a mother she should reign her language in yesterday out on a bike ride, for calling her 3 under 8 year old children “fucking thick cunts”. She seemed embarrassed, but I suspect she’s just a horrible person.

I don’t know how to best address it, depends if you find them approachable or not but it’s better to log something now than regret it later if it provides a bigger picture if necessary.