Phillip Schofield

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Courtneyneild, 7 Feb 2020.

  1. Ancient Citizen

    Ancient Citizen

    Joined:
    26 Jul 2009
    Messages:
    12,946
    If you have to have a religion, make it Protestant, you don't get all that shite, or at least not as much of it.
    I've only been to one catholic funeral, and fuck me, it went on for what seemed about a fortnight. A sheet thrown over
    the poor cunt in the coffin, then it was taken off and folded up, then, after the bloke in a frock droning and chanting for about
    20 minutes, it was unfolded again, the stiff moved around a bit, and laid over him again. Just as I was losing the will to live,
    and thought, as it's going to go on forever, I may as well croak myself, some other fucker started waving a jar of smoke about,
    but unfortunately it wasn't Ganja, so no respite there. More and more of this interminable shite continued, until
    we eventually staggered out, blinking in the sunlight, and badly in need of a shave by then, and we tear arsed to the wake
    at about 90mph to throw as much ale down our necks asap.
    Anyway, back to Phil...
     
    Tuearts right boot likes this.
  2. snorky

    snorky

    Joined:
    9 Mar 2016
    Messages:
    1,967
    Does a danger wank involve a blindfold, a jar of lube and a jar of chilli oil?
     
  3. casserole of nonsense

    casserole of nonsense

    Joined:
    17 Feb 2016
    Messages:
    2,313
    Location:
    Where my Studebaker takes me
    Console yourself with the thought that your collection of Phil’s early solo output has shot up in value since his untimely death.

    I hope this brings you some comfort through the difficult days ahead.
     
  4. dickie davies

    dickie davies

    Joined:
    25 Sep 2010
    Messages:
    7,156
    Location:
    Fuck VAR
    Brings a new meaning to the game show title "three gold rings"
     
    Tuearts right boot likes this.
  5. Ban-jani

    Ban-jani

    Joined:
    7 Dec 2013
    Messages:
    22,778
    That says more about his family then.
     
  6. Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese

    Mazzarelli's Swiss Cheese

    Joined:
    12 Apr 2019
    Messages:
    3,608
    Team supported:
    FC Zurich (and city of course)
    Are you saying George Michael was gay?
     
  7. Ban-jani

    Ban-jani

    Joined:
    7 Dec 2013
    Messages:
    22,778
    Or just follow Jesus without all the crap of Catholicism or the C of E.

    I don’t understand why people would read “all men created equal” and then follow a Pope who’s supposed to be closer to god than you.

    It’s nonsense.
     
  8. aguero93:20

    aguero93:20

    Joined:
    21 Oct 2013
    Messages:
    74,591
    Location:
    Pep Out
    Team supported:
    Pep Out
    Off to the Hague with you. Scum.
     
  9. aguero93:20

    aguero93:20

    Joined:
    21 Oct 2013
    Messages:
    74,591
    Location:
    Pep Out
    Team supported:
    Pep Out
    Eh? The fuck were you doing? The wake is supposed to be before the funeral.
     
  10. Ancient Citizen

    Ancient Citizen

    Joined:
    26 Jul 2009
    Messages:
    12,946
    Is it?
    Well, we never went to one before, it was straight to the blokes favourite pub, mind you, it was a big funeral,
    maybe the strict catholics went before or something, I don't know how these things are done, I was just glad to
    get to the boozer.
     

Share This Page