We'd be right up Merde Creek without him. 25 goals this season, and if we believe FergieMk1 would have coughed up £25m for him, that's a one million pound reminder for each goal for the old git to chew on.
This distinction is held by Robbie Fowler, who scored a first half hat-trick in only four minutes and 32 seconds for Liverpool against Arsenal on Sunday 28 August 1994, aged just 19.
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