Restraining order advice/experience sought

Bilston Blue

Well-Known Member
Joined
30 Aug 2009
Messages
1,094
Hi everyone, long time member but rare poster seeking advice or experience here.

I'm looking for advice on a pretty scary situation involving the estranged husband of my new partner.

He has a 2 year restraining order in place to prevent him contacting or seeing his wife which we think he breached today, though the police will confirm that in due course. That has been in place 2 weeks tomorrow.

My question is about getting a restraining order in place to prevent him threatening and harrassing me, which he has done in the past and which we fear he will continue to do as our relationship develops further. He's said as much. He's said he'll never allow us to have a relationship. In January he was cautioned for attacking me in the street when I was forced to lock myself in my car until he left the scene. He threatened to kill me then. He's since driven past my house (I live in a cul-de-sac) and threatened several times to come to my house, one of which resulted in his wife chasing him at high speed. He's confronted us in a store where he threatened me again.

He showed his wife a large hunting knife he'd bought which at a later date he intimated was to use on me. There've been other occassions too which have resulted in 999 calls (around 4 in total I believe).

Most recently he made a direct threat to kill me, both verbally and with a finger across the throat gesture. This happened when I dropped my partner at court for a hearing about his access to their children. He was arrested for this and questioned for making threats to kill. He was released without charge as it was his word against mine.

All in all I'm seriously frightened; frightened to the point of being afraid at times of going to work or frightened each time a car passes outside my house. I'm absolutely petrified of the time I eventually move in with my lovely partner. I won't let him prevent that but I won't be able to live happily or in a relaxed way. My relationship with my partner is at the point where we're discussing living together in the medium term future, and discussing also her introducing me to her children at some point. We've seriously considered moving away and telling nobody where we're going save for her parents and brother.

I suppose I'm looking for advice from anyone who's experienced this sort of thing. Am I likely to be successful in my application for this restraining order?

I am currently in the process of obtaining a log from the police of all the calls I've made to them and the nature of the incidents, and will use this to support my application. My partner has said she will provide support in the form of corroborating my statements.

Does anyone have any experience of this type of situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.
 
I have no experience here but really hope you get it sorted out. It can be hard to know when someone is all talk or being serious, and I guess some of the evidence points a bit towards the latter. Sorry to hear you have had to put up with that.
 
This sounds like a living hell mate. I don't have any experience of such things at all really but wanted to say i hope it turns out well for you.

You shouldn't have to but i would seriously consider moving somewhere he doesn't know. The police seem reactive only in these situations very often. If the police know all this and he is still at it and free to do it i really would consider looking to myself to give a decent barrier between him and you. If he does not know where you are then that is a start, it takes you away from immediate danger.

I am not slagging the police off here i should note, it is hard for them to judge who has just had their ego bruised and real nutters. This one could easily be the latter due to the persistent nature of the aggression, i mean showing your partner a hunting knife saying he will use it on you, this is imminent danger you are in imo.

Honest mate, if i were you id get on rightmove/zoopla right now and get looking. Kids can be taken to a mutual place with supervisors where parental exchanges can happen. Seriously bud, what use is an injunction if this chap is not recognizing the law, id look to move if only to give me peace of mind. That is unless you have a mortgage meaning moving just like that is not an option.
 
Hi everyone, long time member but rare poster seeking advice or experience here.

I'm looking for advice on a pretty scary situation involving the estranged husband of my new partner.

He has a 2 year restraining order in place to prevent him contacting or seeing his wife which we think he breached today, though the police will confirm that in due course. That has been in place 2 weeks tomorrow.

My question is about getting a restraining order in place to prevent him threatening and harrassing me, which he has done in the past and which we fear he will continue to do as our relationship develops further. He's said as much. He's said he'll never allow us to have a relationship. In January he was cautioned for attacking me in the street when I was forced to lock myself in my car until he left the scene. He threatened to kill me then. He's since driven past my house (I live in a cul-de-sac) and threatened several times to come to my house, one of which resulted in his wife chasing him at high speed. He's confronted us in a store where he threatened me again.

He showed his wife a large hunting knife he'd bought which at a later date he intimated was to use on me. There've been other occassions too which have resulted in 999 calls (around 4 in total I believe).

Most recently he made a direct threat to kill me, both verbally and with a finger across the throat gesture. This happened when I dropped my partner at court for a hearing about his access to their children. He was arrested for this and questioned for making threats to kill. He was released without charge as it was his word against mine.

All in all I'm seriously frightened; frightened to the point of being afraid at times of going to work or frightened each time a car passes outside my house. I'm absolutely petrified of the time I eventually move in with my lovely partner. I won't let him prevent that but I won't be able to live happily or in a relaxed way. My relationship with my partner is at the point where we're discussing living together in the medium term future, and discussing also her introducing me to her children at some point. We've seriously considered moving away and telling nobody where we're going save for her parents and brother.

I suppose I'm looking for advice from anyone who's experienced this sort of thing. Am I likely to be successful in my application for this restraining order?

I am currently in the process of obtaining a log from the police of all the calls I've made to them and the nature of the incidents, and will use this to support my application. My partner has said she will provide support in the form of corroborating my statements.

Does anyone have any experience of this type of situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.
Ask him how long he thinks he'll last if you hire 100 junkies to hunt him down.
 
Hi everyone, long time member but rare poster seeking advice or experience here.

I'm looking for advice on a pretty scary situation involving the estranged husband of my new partner.

He has a 2 year restraining order in place to prevent him contacting or seeing his wife which we think he breached today, though the police will confirm that in due course. That has been in place 2 weeks tomorrow.

My question is about getting a restraining order in place to prevent him threatening and harrassing me, which he has done in the past and which we fear he will continue to do as our relationship develops further. He's said as much. He's said he'll never allow us to have a relationship. In January he was cautioned for attacking me in the street when I was forced to lock myself in my car until he left the scene. He threatened to kill me then. He's since driven past my house (I live in a cul-de-sac) and threatened several times to come to my house, one of which resulted in his wife chasing him at high speed. He's confronted us in a store where he threatened me again.

He showed his wife a large hunting knife he'd bought which at a later date he intimated was to use on me. There've been other occassions too which have resulted in 999 calls (around 4 in total I believe).

Most recently he made a direct threat to kill me, both verbally and with a finger across the throat gesture. This happened when I dropped my partner at court for a hearing about his access to their children. He was arrested for this and questioned for making threats to kill. He was released without charge as it was his word against mine.

All in all I'm seriously frightened; frightened to the point of being afraid at times of going to work or frightened each time a car passes outside my house. I'm absolutely petrified of the time I eventually move in with my lovely partner. I won't let him prevent that but I won't be able to live happily or in a relaxed way. My relationship with my partner is at the point where we're discussing living together in the medium term future, and discussing also her introducing me to her children at some point. We've seriously considered moving away and telling nobody where we're going save for her parents and brother.

I suppose I'm looking for advice from anyone who's experienced this sort of thing. Am I likely to be successful in my application for this restraining order?

I am currently in the process of obtaining a log from the police of all the calls I've made to them and the nature of the incidents, and will use this to support my application. My partner has said she will provide support in the form of corroborating my statements.

Does anyone have any experience of this type of situation?

Thank you in advance for any advice.
Is it a restraining order or a non-molestation order?
 
Sounds bad mate...sometimes you gotta step back and think, is this bird worth the hassle?

There’s loads of dating websites now, match.com, tinder, fuckbook, plenty of fish, doggersweekly that it’s getting easier and easier to meet someone new. You could probably just walk out on her without saying anything, keep a low profile sort of thing and she’d probably suspect her husband was responsible so you wouldn’t get any aggro either. It’s a tough one, I feel for you.
 
Sounds bad mate...sometimes you gotta step back and think, is this bird worth the hassle?

That was my initial response as well.

Sadly, if they have children together he will never be out the picture completely - no matter how crazy the f’er is.

Good luck to you.
 
Could you not just move house but leave the lights on in your old house and place a few mannekins around the living room like in Home Alone so he thinks you still live there?
 
Sounds bad mate...sometimes you gotta step back and think, is this bird worth the hassle?
this also was my first thought,the chap you talk about sounds crazy enough to carry out his threat to kill or harm you pretty bad,you may not want to hear this but i would get out and get out now.its just not worth it and who knows the relationship may not last anyway.
 
Hi Mate

Sounds horrible!!!

I would investigate to see if you can get the current order varied to include yourself as well as your partner. The fact that he has threatened you should lead weight to get it amended. I would advise you keep a very detailed log of everything and even the slightest of issues get it reported to the cops. If everything is on record that should add weight to include yourself

Sounds proper shit mate but good luck and hope you both end up happy without any fear
 

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