This is very good in conveying the horror but sense of absolute powerlessness that most educated people in Russia seem to be feeling right now:
'I am against this war. Everyone I know is against this war' – Reactions by Russians
Of course, words like this or mine on here are inadequate. On the other hand, I'm not much attracted by the idea of getting arrested at a demo on Nevsky prospekt in downtown St Petersburg and at best being deported away from my family. The worst is a stretch in a hellhole Russian prison. Cowardly on my part, I suppose, but there you go.
I have to say, I'm not coping very well at the moment. Until yesterday, I was pretty philosophical, but now I feel crippled by a terrible anxiety (I can feel the heart palpitations) and depression. I have a lot on at the moment at work, but it all feels utterly futile in the face of what's happening to this country.
Anyway, I don't want to be self-pitying. I'm not in a war zone and will cope. Please save your concern, thoughts and prayers for the brave people defending themselves in this terrible war.