.....Sell your wife.....

[SWP's back]

When private sellers are flogging a car, they provide pictures of said car.

Just saying, like.

Sadly it doesn’t shut her up.

 

[Gareth Barry Conlon]

While this virus malarky has been ongoing I've been buying and renovating old engines then selling them on line.
Just had a cheeky bid off someone who I've declined and told the Mrs. She told me to sit down, write an advert or sales pitch and sell her....
I replied that I couldn't do that and expect a fair price. I'd have to pay them.
Which got me to thinking, during these times of utter boredom and stupidity how would a BMer sell their respective partners.

What kind of engines? I have one in my cellar that I don't know what to do with!

 

[Blue Mist]

Loving adorable wife sadly for sale, a great cook, brilliant in bed, great with children. First to view will buy.


Well I want the fucker gone, you lot have no chance with your speil. Honesty and sales do not go together, ask an estate agent.

 

[SWP's back]

In 1832 a man in Carlisle sold his wife Mary for 20 shillings and a Newfoundland dog; one of many examples in the great social historian E.P. Thompson's account of the sale of wives in 19th C. England. showing wife sales were how working class folk got divorced at a time when what we now call divorce required an Act of Parliament (which remained so till 1857.) The husband would lead his wife to the market place with a rope or ribbons around her neck and put her up for auction. The thing was, though, in most cases the wife was entirely happy with the arrangement, the local community understood what was going on and the buyer was often the wife's lover who put in the only bid at an agreed price. In one instance the wife bought herself (for three quid) when the lover failed to show up. A description of a wife for sale is also the opening scene in Thomas Hardy's novel The Mayor of Casterbridge.

I’d swap mine for a second Newfie for sure.

 

[Mid Wales blue]

I think a raffle with a mystery winning prize is the only way.

 

[aguerooooo]

comes with free easy to turn off hearing aid

 

[NZBlue]

What about number of previous owners?

 

[Bigga]

Looks brand new, but some miles on the clock.

Big safety bags/ cushions guaranteed for impact.

Only guzzles when running hot.

Big plentiful boot, takes a huge load...

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Sadly it doesn’t shut her up.

Is that one owner from new.

 

[SWP's back]

Is that one owner from new.

Two owners from new, first was a female funnily enough.