I feel like you're misreading things.
What does this even mean? Scottishness doesn't exist? Clearly it does, now. Identities are not set in stone, they evolve and develop over time.
I'm sorry but that's not our problem, it's yours. We live in a democracy, you can have devolution in the North of England, why not? If people want it enough, fight for it (not literally of course).
For many folk up here it's the societal chasm that's the issue, rather than any sort of idealistic patriotism. Clearly there's an element of that also, but I think it's over-estimated. Before the referendum some of the polls went as low as 25% for independence, a portion (not all) of them will be your die-hard patriotic braveheart fannies.
SNP politicians are by enlarge much more relate-able to me (and Scottish politicians in general) and as a party it feels much more open and accessible. This is why you'll find people voting for the SNP who are not necessarily in favour of independence. They might not be perfect, but I at least feel that they actually represent us and are fighting our corner against the political elite. My local MP until recently was Mhairi Black, walk into any pub, shop or on any street and you'll find people just like her. I went to the same university as 'wee Nicky Sturgeon' (whose parents are an electrician and a dental nurse), as can almost anyone. She got married in a pub just down the road from me.
Again, I can only speak for myself and the people I know, we have nothing against England or Britain, or whatever. But when you continually see the likes of Theresa May, George Osbourne, David Cameron etc in Government, forgive us for feeling like Westminster does not really represent us or our best interests. When you see the UK voting for Brexit, it doesn't make us feel especially British.
Fair enough I can understand why people don't like the SNP, they're not on your side. You need to find your own representatives, don't be angry at us for having ours.