'But, but, but - we had 101% of the possession, and they had no attempts on goal, yet both of them went in - we had 81 crosses, and that's a Premiership record, so technically although it was a draw we won on crosses'.
Oh just shut the fuck up you whinging rag arsewipes - my local graveyard has 81 crosses, and there's more fucking life there than in your back four.
'Stoke on steroids - you're just Stoke on steroids...'
Now it's 'Raheem Sterling could make an impact in Rio'.
Presumably on his girlfriend's face.
Now it's crap about the ECB and Pietersen.
The elephant is in the room again, and I think it has done a great big smelly poo.