That's that then.

Tear your pubes out, stick em in a box and send that to her. Put a note in saying "This is what you're missing, selfish woman". When she sends you a text saying "What the fuck?", send her your dirty grundies. If the dirty cow doesn't take you back then, she ain't worth it.
 
Burn all her things. Put them in a box with a couple of bricks. Explain that it's being paid for on the other side. She'll then be forced to pay for a box containing ashes and bricks.

You still lose, but at least she's out of pocket.
 

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