The Album Review Club – Week #136
Chappell Roan -- The Rise And Fall Of A Midwest Princess (2023)
Selected by
FogBlueInSanFran
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I’m not taking the piss. Really.
I’ve mused about this out loud here, though originally I was kidding.
But you know what?
Fuck it.
This will be like sticking a dildo in a hornet’s nest.
The audience here couldn’t be more wrong for this record or this artist.
But after plodding ancient metal, ambient trip-hop drudgery, more British no-BPM mopery with that other band, yet another few dozen pages about Oasis (like the world needs any more, and it’s going to be endless now that they’re on-again), a record I love but one we already reviewed that's a movie soundtrack, and
@RobMCFC craftily trying to knee me in the balls with fucking Thom fucking Yorke, I am fucking irritated with many of you.
Well, I'm not really irritated . . . but you lot did in fact bring this on yourselves.
I’m shifting the narrative.
I’m forcing you lot of FOCs out of your comfort zone.
This is the best pop album I’ve heard (so far) in the 21st century, by a woman who’s on a rocket to Pluto. This is the only music that matters to an awful lot of people in my country right now – and yours, where it was #1 last week.
And now you have a chance to get in your thoughts about it just after the rocket has launched, not 20, 30, 40 or 50+ years hence like we always do.
You can read all about her background – and you should (real name: Kayleigh Rose Amstutz). She claims “Chappell Roan” is her “drag persona” and an “art project.” She’s from a poor family in Missouri, an ex-cheerleader and Starbucks barrista, and Tik-Tokked her way up the ladder a song at a time before, some how some way, catching fire this year with this record, her debut LP released in late 2023, with songs written over five years.
How did I encounter this, you ask? It’s so obviously not what I – nor any of you -- listen to.
Well, my wife played it for me a few months ago. She said, “Hey, I’m going to play something you’ll like.” Afterwards, I asked, rather incredulously, “How in the world did you know that I’d like this?”
And she said, “Because everyone does. It’s irresistible.”
I told her "I think I know a crowd who can resist it."
As for me, I can’t resist it. Somehow Chappell Roan has tapped 80s pop in the vein of Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Annie Lennox, Toni Basil and countless others, mixed it with techno, country and a LOT of LGBTQ (mostly L, B and T) iconography, and made it sound original . . . and very, very frank.
And for all of you who like great singers – and kept telling me how important they are to bands – well, you fuckers better not woman about this, because she’s amazingly talented.
I am guessing some of you are going to be uncomfortable with her very direct lyrics about sex. I was. I’d ask you to think about Prince and whether you had the same reaction to his music. Both Chappell and Prince would pretty much fuck anyone. And they aren’t shy about letting you know it.
Songs:
“Feminomenon” is the opener. And it sets the tone for where this is going. She’s off boys and onto girls for much of the rest of the record, though the occasional boy pops up now and again.
I know I said I’m tired of Oasis. That’s too bad, cuz the next song is called “Red Wine Supernova.” And I think it’s great. FYI she likes girls with no bras. She’s wants to fuck them. “I heard you like magic / I’ve got a wand and a rabbit.” That’s genius. Write THAT, Gallagher brothers.
“After Midnight” turns up the competent if pedestrian funk.
But her voice-forward ballads like “Coffee” (almost a Tom T. Hall song) and “Casual” (juxtaposing getting eaten out in a car with visiting a guy’s mom in Long Beach) are I think quite beautiful.
Then there’s SGUMG – very Madonna-esque – and then what is already a classic, “HOT TO GO!” which is rapidly becoming the “YMCA” of the lesbian community.
“My Kink Is Karma” is particularly good – a song about orgasming to the thought of an ex-lover’s misery. Given we all seem to orgasm when the rags are humiliated, I am sure all of us can relate.
Eventually we get to “Pink Pony Club”, about a drag queen leaving home. Before you recoil, you should read comments on YouTube from 63 year-old straight white men bawling their eyes out because of the universal it taps – breaking away from your parents to do what you love while they cry in shock and disappointment.
And the techno-closers don’t disappoint me either, especially “Naked in Manhattan” and “Guilty Pleasure.”
It’s not perfect – I don’t love “Picture You” or “Kaleidoscope”, and “Pink Pony Club” needs a better fade out (it’s sort of abrupt) – but those are quibbles.
To me, this is so kinetic, so fun, so celebratory of the liberated individual, so derivative of the mid-80s dance groove I like, sometimes very funny, so direct (it’s jarring for me to hear women talk so freely about sex despite hearing guys do it for decades) – and yet there are spots where it’s quite emotional and even beautiful because her voice is so good.
At the very least, it makes me feel a little younger.
But I am pretty sure none of you will agree. I expect you lot to sharpen keyboards for a right slagging off because this is music that doesn’t directly speak to any us – not remotely – on its face.
So here’s your chance to criticiz(s)e the younger generation, to bemoan what music has become, to write a review chock-full of FOCness.
But it’s about time we shook things up.
As I waded my way through some of our most recent offerings, I kept being reminded of how Chappell’s backup singer puts it on the opening tune:
“Ummmmm, can you play a song with FUCKING BEAT?”
And whatever you think of it, make no mistake – she’s coming for your daughters and your granddaughters – whether you like it or not.
She’s not just a cheerleader for her gender or sexual partner set – she’s a cheerleader for humanity.
You go, girl.
Happy listening!
PS. I’ll do Taylor Swift next go.
