The Album Review Club - Week #195 (page 1310) - A New World Record - ELO

The Real Thing by Faith No More asks the question "What is it?" and with the wisdom of 1,000 Buddhist monkeys who have meditated for a thousand years and typing on a thousand typewriters answers "it's it". Some of this is forgivable when you read the lyricist and singer had 12 days to write an albums worth of words. So I will not dwell on this too much but by all things holy the lyrics on Epic made me cringe so hard I turned inside out. The shouty rap is delivered with the same subtlety and timing as a nazi might utilise sending you individual pages of Mein Kampf though the post. As this was the only song I had heard before the album contained many surprises some of which were ok.

I've articulated before how hard it is for me to take this kind of music seriously and in particular this album makes it even harder. However the genre jumping and borrowing makes it a lot of fun. I suspect fun is not what they were after though. From Out Of Nowhere starts us in pop territory - it's bright and bouncy but not really metal like I was expecting - it has an almost proto glam grunge chorus and with the synth quite prominent reminded me of the indie rock stuff from 20 years ago like The Bravery or Gossip - I can easily imagine The Killers having this on their mind a lot. Falling to Pieces is similar but more of its time and shows Mike Patton demonstrating why you may like his voice and also why you may hate it. Nice weighty bassline which IDLES did better but the song is fine although it's not necessary for this to be over 5 minutes long.

Surprise! Your Dead is the first foray into metal and a bit of a left turn based on what we've already heard. It's so fun which is why it's going to score low. Zombie Eaters starts with the classic metal acoustic latin playing and contains actual dynamics +1 to the score. Good stuff band. It's grandiose, cinematic with some tasty bass work and it's easy to imagine this being played with an actual orchestra rather than the one patch the synth seems to be stuck on. Oh wait it's written from the perspective of a creepy baby. -2

The Real Thing is similar to Zombie Eaters and we are in quite a flabby middle section of the album. This song was definitely used on a game trailer for a PS2 game. Here in lies my main issue with this album - it doesn't feel like a real thing. Underwater Love compounds the issue and has me checking spotify hasn't started playing INXS instead. The Morning After doesn't really improve the issue but please be assured I'm enjoying the album for the funsies.

Woodpecker From Mars leans heavily into some metal Arabic troping similar to Zombie Eaters and again it's just charming and fun. Not a good look for a metal album. War Pigs as expected as multiple hi hat solos before we hit a final left field choice with Edge of The World which is a surprise but not surprising as the album is doing a lot. Not to disparage Patton who I think is a fine frontman but I wonder if Queen would be like this if Freddy Mercury wasn't Freddy Mercury.

I enjoyed this much more than something like the Megadeth offering but it has one fundamental flaw. It's not giving me a real thing vibe. The genre hopping is great fun but it also puts this album close to a musical theatre setting. It's Hairspary but with less to say. I'm interested in more of what this band might be doing due to it's exploration of the different genres BUT it feels like they are exploring those genres for their own amusement rather than because they have something significant to say. So it's hard to take seriously particularly with the 12 day old lyrics - Epic being a particular low light although it's still a bunch of fun.

In comparison I'll offer 3 albums which came out in similar times that offer what i feel this is missing. A very simple comparison is the Rage Against The Machine debut which is doing more of the funk metal stuff although that did come out 3 years later (I wonder if FNM primed our ears for that though). If you were wondering if shouty white rap has to be so lacking in flow I would counter that with Paul's Boutique by Beastie Boys which also came out in 1989. Saying that Patton and the Beasties are both rapping is like saying See Spot Run and Catch 22 are the same. Final comparison I'll make is Bleach by Nirvana which also came out in 1989. What they all have and that The Real Thing doesn't have is strength of conviction which is why it'll be getting a 6 from me. Enjoyable but when it needs to slap me in the face it politely shakes my hand.
 
Faith No More : The Real Thing : Album Review : Mr G : 03.03.25

Egg n' Chips.

Hmm. Hard to know where to really begin or end with this album. (I though Mr Bell's review was on point)
I started listening to it and then somehow finished, without actually getting anything in the middle so to speak.
Whilst out with the dog, giving the album a second spin, i thought that (dunno why) if this album was my dinner it would be pie and chips because it's rather bland and inoffensive in every aspect and does nothing more to one's sustenance than provide temporary (sonic) filler to ones day.
Then i thought no, i actually enjoy a good pie and that would be too good for this analogy and then after remembering my poverty food from when we were 4 Yorkshiremen poor, i remembered egg 'n chips which would be a sure sign that dad didn't get much OT in that week.
If this album was a Meme, it would be the one with Alan Partridge giving it the big shoulders,

On the positives, the sonic blandness and dullness, likely lead to the OP having it as the last album in their sack on the long sojourn around Europe. This is probably due to nobody actually noticing it (or actually wanting ) to steal it. Saved by it's own invisibility. I also imagine that same sonic dullness was comforting on long bus rides and lonely nights where your brain is in a shut down or coma. Who needs pithy lyrics and catchy rhythms when you are trying to forget your immediate existence?

I don't really have much to say about it. Sonically, it is dull and grey, hard to pick out any musicianship of note in the wall of noise (loudness????) it feebly flaps Infront of your face.
There are some interesting snippets which come and go. I thought "Your dead" was amusing... 1st spin only.
I did not like the singers voice. Not a fan of that at all.

If we give it a "Meh" score of 5 as a starting point, it gets +1 for being utterly excellent at nothing. It gets -1 for the filler (wtf was the woodpecker about?)

I was also going to award it-2 for the god awful insult to cover versions for the tragedy that is War Pigs. Oh my word, go play that ***** in a pub. I'd say Ozzy spins on the spot every time that horror is played.
However, it was a bonus track to, so, lets call it quits.

Ironically, i did manage to hear a few of the bands other singles (YouTube algorithms ftw) during the week after successfully avoiding them for my life so far. (i remember thinking "nah" when i first heard them as a young man). I thought those singles were much better than the chaff on this album.

So, final score: 4. Egg n' chips.
 
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Still working through this but will def have a review — four hours of driving the next two days will ensure multiple listens. However, it is also possible I will just play “Epic” on endless repeat. That and “We Care A Lot” from one of their other records.
 
RobMCFC said:
The Real Thing – Faith No More

This is more like it. No poncing around; a proper band who aren’t afraid to get out the guitars, keyboards and drums and use them.

Some of the bridges between chorus and verses on “From Out of Nowhere” simultaneously reminded me of Journey (before them) and Black Mountain (after them), which is not a bad old/new combination. A suitably epic opening, speaking of which …..

“Epic” was the only song of theirs that I’d previously heard, and it was good to hear it again here. A rap-like delivery from the off, ala Extreme, but a simple, memorable singalong chorus. Rap it may be, but for me they get away with it because of the muscular musical backing – none of that Casio, drum machine programming and fake record scratch bollocks.

The title track works with its aggressive parts complemented by some subtle clicking percussion and almost spoken chorus.

By the time I got to the third listen, I was hearing some of the subtle differences from track-to-track: the organ that powers “Underwater Love” is great and the middle-eastern opening of “Woodpecker From Mars” makes for a suitably, errr, epic opening (second time I’ve used that line in one review). Overall, the chunky guitars and the layered keyboards create a satisfying wall of noise that blows the cobwebs off the last few weeks. For balance, there is a bit of shoutiness in here, but for some reason it really doesn’t bother me because the music is so good.

There’s no Ritchie Sambora guitar solo that would push things up a notch but it’s generally a sound that I like. 8/10.

Thanks to @BimboBob for a great nomination and another nostalgic write-up. Maybe there’s a good thread in “If you were forced to travel around Europe with only 5 albums …..”
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Love ya, bud — no way I would have had you down for an 8 here! Great review.
 
I’m a strong believer that you can associate certain songs with certain moments in your life. Strangely for me: Whiter Shade of Pale going over the Menai Bridge visiting relatives on Anglesey; Children of The Revolution on a plane to Guernsey on holiday; Sally McLennane live on my first date with my now wife…. I won’t go on but you get my point.
I can’t imagine the pain of losing your dad at such an early age and I wouldn’t begin to guess the impact those five cassettes (old git!!) had on Bimbo.
Suffice to say I’m a big FNM fan - finally got to see them headline Download in 2009 when they’d not been around for a few years. Mike Patton was FNM for me - there are only a couple of earlier songs I like, but the rest is pretty……. Epic ;))
The opening three tracks are all bangers and although this isn’t my favourite FNM album (that would be Angel Dust) it’s still very very good. Solid 9/10 for me. Great choice Bimbo - do you still have the cassette!?
 
GornikDaze said:
I’m a strong believer that you can associate certain songs with certain moments in your life. Strangely for me: Whiter Shade of Pale going over the Menai Bridge visiting relatives on Anglesey; Children of The Revolution on a plane to Guernsey on holiday; Sally McLennane live on my first date with my now wife…. I won’t go on but you get my point.
I can’t imagine the pain of losing your dad at such an early age and I wouldn’t begin to guess the impact those five cassettes (old git!!) had on Bimbo.
Suffice to say I’m a big FNM fan - finally got to see them headline Download in 2009 when they’d not been around for a few years. Mike Patton was FNM for me - there are only a couple of earlier songs I like, but the rest is pretty……. Epic ;))
The opening three tracks are all bangers and although this isn’t my favourite FNM album (that would be Angel Dust) it’s still very very good. Solid 9/10 for me. Great choice Bimbo - do you still have the cassette!?
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I have the Depeche Mode one! Although I returned with that and the FNM cassette dear old Mr Patton fell by the wayside when I moved to Canada for a year a few months later.
 
Bar the singles this is once again a new experience listening to a full FNM album.
Straight away I enjoyed it so much more that Megadeth. This as I thought they were doing this for their enjoyment (and obviously making money) rather than with RIP it being about look at us we can play harder/faster than anyone else.
On first couple of listens I picked upon the funk and twang on the bass throughout and whilst the first few tracks are good, i actually enjoyed Underwater Love and Woodpecker perhaps the best.
Another couple of listens tomorrow I think....

mrbelfry said:
With one of those pie guns from Bugsy Malone
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They were not pie guns, they were "splurge guns"
 
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