The girl I once knew.

Bill Walker

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24 Dec 2006
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Down under
Met the love of my life back in 1973 both teenagers we were together for 3 years when her dad decided to emigrate to South Africa, I was devastated but had plans to follow but not knowing how to go about it things petered out and we both lost contact for the next 40 years.
we both got married had kids etc but i never ever forgot her...i would often look for her on facebook til eventually i found her living back in the UK little did i know she had been back 20 years and was separated ..to cut a long story short i met her and it was like we had never been apart..i left my wife of 36 years which i am not proud of but the last 6 years with my true love have been everything i could have hoped for,
And then the alarm clock went off..



:)
 
Joined
12 Apr 2012
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18
Here’s an interesting scenario for you blue mooners to psychoanalyse.
Not really asking anything here, more for your thoughts on this type of thing.

Last week I took the kids to see my mother who lives some way away so it’s not something we do enough.
We took my daughter’s dog down and whilst there went for a little walk. I took them round were I grew up (it was a 1960’s version of a Barrat/Wimpy Homes self contained estate a mix of detached houses and bungalows.

On the way to small park to walk the dog we walked past a road a few mins away from my mother’s.
I walked past a house of a girl I used to ‘get off’ with at parties when I was 14/15 and a bunch of memories came flooding back. I was intensely shy in my teens (and carried on into my 20’s, though I often masked it as best I could).
The only reason we got it on was due to alcohol. We had these local parties in halls (sports halls/club halls etc) every so often and it’s amazing to think how many kids my age were able to drink in these places!.
One of the reasons I’ll never come down too hard on alcohol - I could’ve never done the things I did without it. It was my crutch.

I’d turn up see her and neither of us said a word (I couldn’t approach her).
Couple of drinks later and we’d just kind of collide then (literally) spend the next couple of hours kissing in a dark corner of the hall.
Remember when you first discover ‘French kissing’ and it’s just overwhelming. I can’t actually remember saying much if anything to her, but it was just beautiful (hand under skirt may have been implemented too).
It was my first proper experience and to this day I’ve never been close to having the depth of lust and embrace. After the party I’d walk her home (to that house mentioned above) and then we’d find somewhere else to stop and continue just kissing. Can’t remember how many parties this happened - 4-5 perhaps. Never saw her outside of the parties.

My best mate was her good friend (they went to a different comprehensive school) and she once asked me out via him. I remember sitting with them in a Wimpy/Burger King or some other place around that time, but my shyness and/or something else put paid to a relationship. Something about the magic of those parties never materialised in the day/other times.
About 6 months maybe a year after these parties ended I saw her at a bonfire event at a local pub (I was probably about 16 then). She pointed over/nodded on and mentioned my name to her friends, but again I couldn’t approach her. The teen head universe is a strange one.

After last week I thought I’d try and see what she was up to these days.
I’ve always thought about those times as they’re amongst my strongest memories growing up. She had a weird surname (Polish sounding) and so I had a bit of time yesterday afternoon so I tried to search. Nothing at all came up. My best mate above doesn’t have her as a contact neither does anyone in that area I have on FB.
Then, randomly a photo of a bunch of people I once vaguely knew (from the area, these parties but not school) appeared on FB.
I’d been struggling to remember what she looked like but there she was - she stood out straight away (may have been 16 when the pic was taken - so approx 32 years ago). There she was looking like an 80’s Hollywood teen actress. Her name came up (I’d been spelling it up) as tag, but annoyingly a dead tag.
I read the comments and they’d asked what she was up to these days, but what was nice was how highly valued she was to this group, describing her as beautiful and funny (and she was….and lil ol shy me bagged her many times).
All this evoked a bit of an emotional response. I had this sense of joy and was beaming all afternoon (I’ve not over analysed why, but it was this deep sense of ‘wonderful’).

One comment was from someone I have on contact list (saying she’d spoken to her 8 years and she’d moved down south). From there I’ve managed to find her (I’m not stalking honest!).

I don’t want to go back to my past and nostalgia can often bite.
You can never really ‘go back’.
It’s not something I want to poke (ignore the pun). I don’t feel any attraction anymore nor do I wish to try and re capture those times and although it looks like she may have separated I’ve no desire to get in touch.
We’re completely different people from those times.

But part of me wants to say hello and say thanks for making me feel so happy during those brief times, almost like passing on a bit of good will (an old school friend did something similarly to me recently whilst she was drunk messaging on FB and was embarrassed the next day, but I thought it was really sweet).

I never captured that passion again (and may never do again), but those are experiences that occur in our teens aren’t they?
Playing with fire, someone will always get burnt or hurt.

If you decide to contact her and you are in a relationship/marriage then be up front and tell the other half, believe me, secrets destroy relationships
 

Nebuchadnezzar

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14 Feb 2012
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screaming my bollocks off
One final thing I would advise, and don't require you to answer on - if one or both of you has a partner and this will cause drama, be sure that there isn't something deep down upsetting you that makes you long for a "better" time before you take any action. A family member very nearly ruined his marriage recently by contacting an old flame. He managed to save the marriage in the end but at his core he had held upset about his father's death for 30+ years, and had his own health issues in the years before. All of this combined with the madness of COVID tipped him to do something that I don't believe would have happened in different circumstances.
 

Georgian Maestro

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Met the love of my life back in 1973 both teenagers we were together for 3 years when her dad decided to emigrate to South Africa, I was devastated but had plans to follow but not knowing how to go about it things petered out and we both lost contact for the next 40 years.
we both got married had kids etc but i never ever forgot her...i would often look for her on facebook til eventually i found her living back in the UK little did i know she had been back 20 years and was separated ..to cut a long story short i met her and it was like we had never been apart..i left my wife of 36 years which i am not proud of but the last 6 years with my true love have been everything i could have hoped for,
How did your kids react to it?
 

MadchesterCity

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12 Sep 2009
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10,903
Met the love of my life back in 1973 both teenagers we were together for 3 years when her dad decided to emigrate to South Africa, I was devastated but had plans to follow but not knowing how to go about it things petered out and we both lost contact for the next 40 years.
we both got married had kids etc but i never ever forgot her...i would often look for her on facebook til eventually i found her living back in the UK little did i know she had been back 20 years and was separated ..to cut a long story short i met her and it was like we had never been apart..i left my wife of 36 years which i am not proud of but the last 6 years with my true love have been everything i could have hoped for,
Wow
 

GazM

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23 Jul 2009
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1,246
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Watching City from behind the sofa
Met the love of my life back in 1973 both teenagers we were together for 3 years when her dad decided to emigrate to South Africa, I was devastated but had plans to follow but not knowing how to go about it things petered out and we both lost contact for the next 40 years.
we both got married had kids etc but i never ever forgot her...i would often look for her on facebook til eventually i found her living back in the UK little did i know she had been back 20 years and was separated ..to cut a long story short i met her and it was like we had never been apart..i left my wife of 36 years which i am not proud of but the last 6 years with my true love have been everything i could have hoped for,
As others have said - Wow ! Fair play for having the cajones. We've only got one life after all - 'tis surely better not to have any regrets.
 

AliBobbyJ

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As we age this is normal. The past will inevitably have memories of pleasure and pain. Many revisit them because in our youth we were young, fit, carefree and had more fun and the energy to do it.
Thoughtful stuff, this, and so true. This thread
 

AliBobbyJ

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As we age this is normal. The past will inevitably have memories of pleasure and pain. Many revisit them because in our youth we were young, fit, carefree and had more fun and the energy to do it.
Thoughtful stuff, and so true. The thread reminds me of those two tv series about people meeting old flames, As Time Goes By and then Last Tango In Halifax. And it reminds me of a lass I knew back in my 20s when we both lived in London. She and I had grown up and gone to different schools half a mile apart in Manchester without ever meeting. In London we became good friends, no more than that, but I think we'd have been a good couple, we had shared likes for things like Lancashire CCC and days at the seaside. I'm across the ocean now with a good life here but increasingly miss the North of England and sometimes wonder if making a simpler life with her instead of going on my travels & adventures would have suited me better as I get older.
 

paulchapo

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23 Nov 2010
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23,179
Thoughtful stuff, and so true. The thread reminds me of those two tv series about people meeting old flames, As Time Goes By and then Last Tango In Halifax. And it reminds me of a lass I knew back in my 20s when we both lived in London. She and I had grown up and gone to different schools half a mile apart in Manchester without ever meeting. In London we became good friends, no more than that, but I think we'd have been a good couple, we had shared likes for things like Lancashire CCC and days at the seaside. I'm across the ocean now with a good life here but increasingly miss the North of England and sometimes wonder if making a simpler life with her instead of going on my travels & adventures would have suited me better as I get older.

I think we often meet great potential life partners when we are young but it doesn't happen as we are too busy doing other stuff and sowing our wild oats. For me I went away to sea when I was seventeen. I'd meet plenty of girls when I was on leave but then had to go away again for four to six months. Obviously the girl would be out every weekend getting chatted up and I never expected any to wait for me.

Possibly, but you're thinking with your older mindset. Now it might work if you reconnected but you needed to get your wanderlust out of your system first
 

AliBobbyJ

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I think we often meet great potential life partners when we are young but it doesn't happen as we are too busy doing other stuff and sowing our wild oats. For me I went away to sea when I was seventeen. I'd meet plenty of girls when I was on leave but then had to go away again for four to six months. Obviously the girl would be out every weekend getting chatted up and I never expected any to wait for me.

Possibly, but you're thinking with your older mindset. Now it might work if you reconnected but you needed to get your wanderlust out of your system first
You're right. The wanderlust has mostly gone now. It's the wonderlust that's left, or maybe more of the wonder and not so much of the lust ...
 

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