The life of a Junior Football coach

B B

Bluesince1979

Well-Known Member
Joined
9 Feb 2006
Messages
10,416
Location
chedle en le hum
Posting on here for a bit of feedback and comradeship as i cant post on the usual outlets for obvious reasons

I coach my sons U10 footy team and am just starting my 2nd season. I played football well into my 40s, and ran a few adult teams over the years but coaching a kids team was all brand new to me.

We are a lowish level team who started off last season going 8 games without finding a win but ended the season winning more than we lost. The improvement to the lads was great to see.
This season we have been placed in a higher league (probs mid level after last seasons low level) and the lads are smashing it. Theyve won first 3 games.
I am not tactical genius , i just get the lads giving there all and playing them in positions they exceed at and are happy in. I ask the lads 2 things, to try their best and to enjoy it. It seems to work.

Ive also grown into the role , it took me a long time to learn to enjoy it and not take it too serious and that totally helps too.

i feel i tick the boxes to why im there; being part of lads playing footy and them enjoying it.

Anyway now for my rant;

Ive always tried to involve the parents in everything, following advice early on of get the parents on side helps in a big way.

I write weekly match reports, i send appraisals to the boys, i encourage them all the time, i totally focus on strengths of each lad, i give equal playing time to all. I give a man of the match medal each week (club dont provide these so out my own pocket) and all lads get it equal amount of times. Theres always a reason why someone deserves it.
I involve the parents in post match chats to let them feel involved

Last night i get 3 messages off parents;
1; “what does my son have to do to get man of the match, he doesnt get it, he needs it soon”
Now this lad is the son of a millionaire, he is totally indulged so i play my amateur physiologists roll and ensure i heap praise on him because thats what he thrives on. Where as others thrive off a kick up the arse. I cant keep telling this kid how well he is playing any more than i do.
2; “my son enjoys playing for the team but doesnt like defence and wants to play midfield so he can score 3 goals a game”
This lad is our best player, its only 7 a side, he plays maybe 10% of each game in defence but has a pretty free roll to drive forward and plays most of the game centre mid anyway.
I pointed this out to said parent who then ignored the message
3; “my son never gets man of the match”. He does, as i said they all get it equally, but they will go 9 games to win it again so it sometimes feels a long time. Showed them last seasons chart for MOTM and all lads getting it the same amount of times, she just said it doesnt feel that way

Anyway, so ive vented above , got it off my chest, last nights messages knocked me sideways and had me thinking is it worth it?
I sacrifice a lot and ask for nothing back. I miss all my daughters games because they clash where as other parents in same position can alternate

We seemed to enjoy it more as a struggling team rather than the winning outfit we are now

Anyone else lived the life of a football junior coach and felt a bit disillusioned as to why you do it and is it worth all the effort?
We sacrifice a lot , we get little in return other than ear ache off parents, or so it seems
 
Before a match get all the parents in a circle read their embarrassing messages out to everyone, tell them if they don’t like it, either take their kids elsewhere or drop your kids off and fuck off and pick them up later. In some ways I’m glad I had a daughter who’s no interest in football, I’ve heard so many nightmare stories off lads who say parents are the problem with grass roots in this way. It comes from the everyone gets a medal for turning up and self entitled parents who probably got the same. I applaud your efforts mates don’t let them drag you down, but I’d make it quite clear the either like it or lump it and little Johnny will have to deal with it because when he’s older he will have a harsh lesson.
 
In the population as a whole there are a percentage of utterly entitled, mardy arseholes. Some of them have kids, which means some of them get to be parents at junior football teams. This is unfortunate. Sadly some of their kids will also go one to be mardy entitled arseholes because you don't lick it off a stone do you?

Some people are just too self absorbed to recognise that the only reason junior football exists is because of people like you. Sounds like you have exactly the right attitude and actually go above and beyond what many coaches do. I'd be quite hardcore with them and explain the philosophy and if they don't like it they can find another club.

At the point when the kids start displaying the behaviour of the parents give the parents an opportunity or two to correct it and then start favouring the kids and parents who buy into the ethos you've established which strikes me as absolutely correct for the age group you're coaching.

If the joy of helping the kids and the parents who are supportive isn't enough to tolerate the ones who don't understand the purpose of team sports then either actively try and get them to go somewhere else or go and watch your own daughter instead.

It would be a shame if you jacked it in though as from a distance it sounds like you are doing a great job with a spot on attitude.
 
Bluesince1979 said:
Posting on here for a bit of feedback and comradeship as i cant post on the usual outlets for obvious reasons

I coach my sons U10 footy team and am just starting my 2nd season. I played football well into my 40s, and ran a few adult teams over the years but coaching a kids team was all brand new to me.

We are a lowish level team who started off last season going 8 games without finding a win but ended the season winning more than we lost. The improvement to the lads was great to see.
This season we have been placed in a higher league (probs mid level after last seasons low level) and the lads are smashing it. Theyve won first 3 games.
I am not tactical genius , i just get the lads giving there all and playing them in positions they exceed at and are happy in. I ask the lads 2 things, to try their best and to enjoy it. It seems to work.

Ive also grown into the role , it took me a long time to learn to enjoy it and not take it too serious and that totally helps too.

i feel i tick the boxes to why im there; being part of lads playing footy and them enjoying it.

Anyway now for my rant;

Ive always tried to involve the parents in everything, following advice early on of get the parents on side helps in a big way.

I write weekly match reports, i send appraisals to the boys, i encourage them all the time, i totally focus on strengths of each lad, i give equal playing time to all. I give a man of the match medal each week (club dont provide these so out my own pocket) and all lads get it equal amount of times. Theres always a reason why someone deserves it.
I involve the parents in post match chats to let them feel involved

Last night i get 3 messages off parents;
1; “what does my son have to do to get man of the match, he doesnt get it, he needs it soon”
Now this lad is the son of a millionaire, he is totally indulged so i play my amateur physiologists roll and ensure i heap praise on him because thats what he thrives on. Where as others thrive off a kick up the arse. I cant keep telling this kid how well he is playing any more than i do.
2; “my son enjoys playing for the team but doesnt like defence and wants to play midfield so he can score 3 goals a game”
This lad is our best player, its only 7 a side, he plays maybe 10% of each game in defence but has a pretty free roll to drive forward and plays most of the game centre mid anyway.
I pointed this out to said parent who then ignored the message
3; “my son never gets man of the match”. He does, as i said they all get it equally, but they will go 9 games to win it again so it sometimes feels a long time. Showed them last seasons chart for MOTM and all lads getting it the same amount of times, she just said it doesnt feel that way

Anyway, so ive vented above , got it off my chest, last nights messages knocked me sideways and had me thinking is it worth it?
I sacrifice a lot and ask for nothing back. I miss all my daughters games because they clash where as other parents in same position can alternate

We seemed to enjoy it more as a struggling team rather than the winning outfit we are now

Anyone else lived the life of a football junior coach and felt a bit disillusioned as to why you do it and is it worth all the effort?
We sacrifice a lot , we get little in return other than ear ache off parents, or so it seems
Click to expand...
Welcome to junior football. The parents are the morons, mainly. And the other coaches tend to be too. Did for about 5 years and hated it all. Quitting was the best thing I did so I could enjoy watching my sons again.
 
My kids were swimmers and I was vice chair of the club for five years or so and worked closely with the coaches
Although the majority of meets were for individual events, the kids would always sit together as a team, however, there were a number of club meets where we competed in mini leagues. Swimmers would be selected to represent the club by age group and best times on a stroke. And then of course the relay teams selection
All the swimmers times were logged with British swimming and there was software we used called "team meet"
When you entered all the available swimmers into team meet, the software selected the best team and from there you'd assess it and maybe swap a swimmer with another if their times were close, or if one kid had all the swims
This was my wife's job and the amount of grief she took from parents of being biased to our kids was incredible. She'd sit down with them and have to run through each individual time to prove there was no bias
One particular parent had a real go and it was escalated to the committee
The chairman, who was brilliant, wrote back to the parent and concluded his email with "we are always searching for new committee members with something to offer. The door is always open and as such an enthusiastic parent I invite you to join us"
As for the coaches dealing with pushy parents, my advice was always "if they are so unhappy, there is always other clubs they can join"
And that my friend is the advice I give you
You're in it for the love of the sport and giving to the community
Spell this out to these parents and tell them you'd welcome help. It's amazing how quick they STFU when you say this
And don't be afraid of a player leaving
After being with the swimming club for all those years, I saw some fantastic work done by volunteers. I also saw some shit stuff at meets by coaches of other clubs. I wouldn't have let them speak to my kids in such a fashion
But I doff my cap to your commitment to these kids
 
Gather the kids in the centre circle before the match then tell the rich kid he's not playing because his dad's a spoilt brat, tell the 3 goals a game kid he's not playing because he's dad's a gobshite and tell the other one he's not playing because his dad's a rag/scouser/Morrisey fan (he's obviously a wanker so he's bound to get one of the 3)
The other kids will quickly tell their dad's to button it and you can get on with managing them.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.