The Moyes Diaries....

-dabz-

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14 Nov 2008
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Offence isn't given, it's took..
Wed 26 march 2014

Just phoned in sick. My arse is like the Japanese flag this morning...fucking man city! Sir Alex carried out his threat to stick loads of Tunnocks up my shitter if I lost the derby. At the final whistle, I put on a disguise and tried to get lost in the crowd...looking back, the turban was a fucking stupid idea, it fooled no one. I was frog marched up to the boardroom, slammed on to the big table, whereupon Sir Alex carried out his threat. He got up to 300 before Bobby C stepped in and told him to stop. I thought he was taking pity on me....turns out he wanted Alex to save a bit room for some bent watches he needed to stash, opportunistic twat. I wouldn't mind normally, I'm used to shit like that from my Everton days when I had to supplement the transfer kitty by doing a bit of smuggling, a diamond here, a few oz of Charlie there, but nothing like this...ten fucking Rolex and 3k of chocolate biscuits, what the fuck is that all about?...super glueing my towel holder shut was just spiteful....although having said that, it was Bobby's idea so I think he was just making sure his goodies were safe, which is fair enough I suppose...he won the world cup you know.

The wife wants me to nip to Netto for some oven chips...I don't fancy going out today, Sir Alex confiscated my false beard last night and my burka was nicked off the washing line a few days after Liverpool tonked us.
It doesn't do to cross my missus....looks like I'm gonna have to wear one of her dresses.....again.
 
He's off to Ikea to buy a new table, he's going to try and get closer to the top of this one.
 
Plane carrying 'The Wrong One - Moyes Out' to fly over Old Trafford on Saturday!

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/mar/27/ma.." onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/mar/27/ma..</a>.
 

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