This sex (sack) is on fire!

What it is i tried shaving my sack a few days ago because my pubes were out of control like a bag of coiled watch springs. Having shaved it in the past with a razor (with varying degrees of success) the last time i shaved downstairs it looked like a I'd been thrashed by a spikey cactus on inspecting it.

So i thought I'd try my electric hair/beard trimmer and i did resulting in a nasty 2mm sack nick that drew blood. Not only was it bleeding but it was stinging like fuck and irritable, especially when i tried scratching it, i know but it was itching and it's my sack, not yours.

The scab healed and my pubes grew again to unkept garden proportions and i was in the local chemist the other day and i saw some Nair 'Sensitive Cream'. It was on special offer at 99p reduced from £2.99 so i thought right I'll have a tube of that.

On Wednesday morning my sack was almost resembling David Bellamy's beard so i read the instructions on the tube which said apply and leave for 5-6 minutes.(maximum 10 mins) i smeared it on my sack but didnt rub in as per the instructions.

Set the timer on my phone and lay on the bed waiting for woolly mammoth sack meltdown. "Be beep be beep bee beep" - that's me, time was up. and time to gently wash my sack in warm soapy water, which i did.

I washed it and patted it fry like you would a chicken fillet and 10 minutes later. Well, i may have smeared the juice of a Carolina Reaper over my balls because the pain kicked in big-time and the inflammation was something else!

I was in agony. The pain was intense between the bottom of my sack and my starfish. Some 16 hours later it's still stinging like a right bastard and it's causing panic and anxiety. I'm trying to go to sleep but i may have to just get in the car and go to A&E with a sack like a haggis that's been dumped in a nuclear reactor! : (

Advice needed.
 

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