GOULDYBOBS
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How hard could Wayne Rooney's wonder goal really be?Wayne Rooney's goal against Manchester City was undoubtedly impressive. But surely our writer could easily recreate it . . .
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Gwyn Topham guardian.co.uk, Monday 14 February 2011 20.00 GMT Article history
Wayne Rooney did it, so why can't I? Gwyn Topham recreates Rooney's match-winning goal. Photograph: Graham Turner/Graham Turner for the Guardian
Wayne Rooney owed it to me. As I'd finally given up my season ticket in the summer, before I could contribute any more to his new £250,000-a-week contract, technically he owed it less to me than other Manchester United fans. But it has been a depressing few months watching Rooney first threatening to leave United – even raising the spectre of joining Man City – before spending the rest of this season on record wages plodding around the pitch like a sullen, aimless hoofer. That all changed at 2.20pm on Saturday, when he somehow produced that goal – an incredible overhead kick to win the Manchester derby. Then he started to look like he might be worth a pound or two.
Wayne Rooney scores that goal against Manchester City. Photograph: Matthew Peters/Manchester United But how hard was it really? As a semi-fit, semi-retired, local park and five-a-side player, exactly a year older than Rooney's 37-year-old "veteran" team-mate Ryan Giggs, could I manage a similar scissors kick, if I, er, only tried? I enlisted the assistance of football writer Douglas Beattie, author of The Rivals Game, a history of local derby matches. While Rooney might be unique in settling a Manchester derby in such spectacular fashion, he says, "Denis Law scored one while still a United player that was a very similar goal." In other words, such goals come along every 40-odd years. We're now aiming for two in three days.
In a muddy London park, Beattie is dispatched to the right-hand side of the penalty area to cross the ball in. I linger in the goalmouth, ready to perform what Daniel Taylor's Guardian match report described as "that prodigious leap, the arching of his back and the slash of his right boot". Beattie's first cross is too high; the second too low. The third attempt sees him slipping over in the mud. Few people until now have given the United winger Nani's role in that wonder goal much thought, I reflect. Beattie – admittedly wearing tennis shoes – eventually decides throwing the ball will make it easier for me to connect.
Let there be no false modesty. I achieve a 30% success rate – albeit with no defenders, goalkeeper or baying crowds, beyond the ones I imagine as the ball flies in. And one shot hits the bar. But the photographic evidence is more brutal. What felt to me like a prodigious leap was clearly, in the cold light of day, just a plain old tumble backwards. In the pictures, my back isn't arching, though at least it's not hunching. And that right boot isn't really slashing through anything. I'm just happy to see it still on the end of my right leg when I land.
I can report that, even on a soft pitch, the bruising to back and thigh soon takes its toll. And, however spectacular it looks, and however much thousands of dreaming kids of all ages might want to emulate it over the coming weeks, I suspect, if mine is anything to go by, Rooney might be less keen to repeat it if he had to wash his own kit.
sorry i know it was shite but i just couldnt let the london bit go!
How hard could Wayne Rooney's wonder goal really be?Wayne Rooney's goal against Manchester City was undoubtedly impressive. But surely our writer could easily recreate it . . .
Share23
Gwyn Topham guardian.co.uk, Monday 14 February 2011 20.00 GMT Article history
Wayne Rooney did it, so why can't I? Gwyn Topham recreates Rooney's match-winning goal. Photograph: Graham Turner/Graham Turner for the Guardian
Wayne Rooney owed it to me. As I'd finally given up my season ticket in the summer, before I could contribute any more to his new £250,000-a-week contract, technically he owed it less to me than other Manchester United fans. But it has been a depressing few months watching Rooney first threatening to leave United – even raising the spectre of joining Man City – before spending the rest of this season on record wages plodding around the pitch like a sullen, aimless hoofer. That all changed at 2.20pm on Saturday, when he somehow produced that goal – an incredible overhead kick to win the Manchester derby. Then he started to look like he might be worth a pound or two.
Wayne Rooney scores that goal against Manchester City. Photograph: Matthew Peters/Manchester United But how hard was it really? As a semi-fit, semi-retired, local park and five-a-side player, exactly a year older than Rooney's 37-year-old "veteran" team-mate Ryan Giggs, could I manage a similar scissors kick, if I, er, only tried? I enlisted the assistance of football writer Douglas Beattie, author of The Rivals Game, a history of local derby matches. While Rooney might be unique in settling a Manchester derby in such spectacular fashion, he says, "Denis Law scored one while still a United player that was a very similar goal." In other words, such goals come along every 40-odd years. We're now aiming for two in three days.
In a muddy London park, Beattie is dispatched to the right-hand side of the penalty area to cross the ball in. I linger in the goalmouth, ready to perform what Daniel Taylor's Guardian match report described as "that prodigious leap, the arching of his back and the slash of his right boot". Beattie's first cross is too high; the second too low. The third attempt sees him slipping over in the mud. Few people until now have given the United winger Nani's role in that wonder goal much thought, I reflect. Beattie – admittedly wearing tennis shoes – eventually decides throwing the ball will make it easier for me to connect.
Let there be no false modesty. I achieve a 30% success rate – albeit with no defenders, goalkeeper or baying crowds, beyond the ones I imagine as the ball flies in. And one shot hits the bar. But the photographic evidence is more brutal. What felt to me like a prodigious leap was clearly, in the cold light of day, just a plain old tumble backwards. In the pictures, my back isn't arching, though at least it's not hunching. And that right boot isn't really slashing through anything. I'm just happy to see it still on the end of my right leg when I land.
I can report that, even on a soft pitch, the bruising to back and thigh soon takes its toll. And, however spectacular it looks, and however much thousands of dreaming kids of all ages might want to emulate it over the coming weeks, I suspect, if mine is anything to go by, Rooney might be less keen to repeat it if he had to wash his own kit.
sorry i know it was shite but i just couldnt let the london bit go!