About a year ago, I got a wild hare up me arse and decided to go down the road for a pint.
Anyway, being a school night, I decided to head back up home early - only problem was when I opened the door, it was now pissing down like the end of the world was imminent. So, long story short, the lad who owns the pub handed me a golf umbrella he had behind the bar.
"I'll drop it back tomorrow," I promised.
"Hang on to it," he replied. "Someone left it here, ages ago."
So, off I set on a five minute walk, in the dark at 11pm, with my wooly hat on my head and my newly acquired umbrella keeping the deluge at bay... Half way up the road, I passed a couple of Asian men, coming the other way and they were soaked to the skin. I briefly thought about giving them the umbrella, as I had my hat and coat but selfishness got the better of me. Not thirty seconds later, I came upon a middle-aged, Asian woman with a small boy, of about six years, holding onto her hand. Again, they were soaked through.
This time, my conscience got the better of me. I offered the lady the umbrella. She didn't appear to have a word of English. At first, I think she thought I was either attacking her or just a complete weirdo but she eventually accepted the umbrella and I turned off the main road, now about two minutes walk from home.
I like to think that somewhere in our town there is a family of Asian immigrants who, late at night, when they're not out walking their six year olds, they speak in hushed tones of the Umbrella Fairy - a shadowy figure, smelling vaguely of Tuborg and wearing a woolly City hat, who roams the streets at night, bestowing golf umbrellas upon random, deserving strangers before disappearing into the darkness.
They probably don't though.
